Life As You Knew It
by RoryReneeMercedees
Summary: Death. Pain. Abuse. Death. Fear. War. Drama. Death. Cruelty. And more Death. You are entering Lily Evans life where everything is currently spinning out of control. Life as you knew it will never be the same.
1. Come stay with the Potters?

Summary: Lily Evans: bright, happy, sarcastic, lovable Lily. She hates Potter with a passion and everyone knows it. But now the days are growing dark and the whole school finds itself depending on each other. United we stand, divided we fall. It's become the school's motto, practically. What will happen to Lily; her best friends Molly, Alice, and Katie; the marauders; and the rest of the school when James and Lily are forced together in the most unlikely situations? Includes heads dormitory, a very pissed off Lily Evans, Dumbledore's plan to make rivals work together, and a love story that brings down even the worst of men because Lily and James never get their happily ever after.

"LILY!" Dawn Evans said as she fruitlessly tried to wake her daughter up. "Come on. Up!" Dawn sighed and walked out of the room. She walked into the bathroom and grabbed a glass; she filled the glass with icy cold water and walked back into her youngest daughter's room. She smirked and dumped the water onto her daughter's beautiful red hair.

"MOM!" Lily screamed, jumping out of her bed and looking wildly at her mother. Her face contorted with anger and her mother laughed, simply saying, "I said to get up."

Lily grumbled and went into the bathroom to take a shower. She sighed. She really missed Hogwarts. Even though she was home for the summer and she knew she should be glad to be spending time with her family, she wasn't happy. Her sister Petunia hated her with a passion, her father was always off on business to support the family, and her mother decided they needed to spend every waking minute together (she even demanded Lily get up early, hence the water trick she pulled a couple minutes before).

After her shower, Lily walked back into her room to discover her sister sitting on her window seat, gazing out the window like a love sick puppy. Lily stared at her sister. Her blond hair was up in a messy bun and she was wearing a tight black shirt and a matching mini-skirt. Lily sighed, that was Petunia. She always had to be with the crowd. She always had to look good, blend in, and not be a freak- which she deemed Lily as.

But even if her magic deemed her a freak, Lily couldn't help it. She didn't choose to be a witch. She remembered when Severus Snape, the boy that lived a few doors down from her house whom she no longer spoke to, told her that she was a witch and he was a wizard. She had freaked and refused to believe him, running off with her best friend Tunney (her annoying nickname for Petunia).

She stopped her trip down memory lane and focused on her sister, who no sooner call her sister her best friend than she would marry a monkey. "What are you doing here, Tunney?" Lily had called her sister by the pet name she hated, hoping to get a rise out of her.

Petunia jumped and looked up at her. "I thought you were in the shower…" Petunia trailed off, her expression matching a deer caught in the headlights.

"Well obviously, I'm done." Lily said her eyes narrowing in on her sister.

"Come look, Lils." Petunia said pointing out the window.

Lily froze at the sound of her nickname. Lils. Petunia hadn't called her Lils in years. It wasn't like when Lily called Petunia Tunney. Lils wasn't embarrassing, it was affectionate. Why was her sister being affectionate with her? Oh, Merlin, what did Petunia want?

She walked to the window and looked curiously at what had her sister so unabashedly sitting in her room. And that's when she saw them. First she saw her best friend, Katie Potter along with her twin James Potter and his best friend Sirius Black. She sighed loudly, two out of the three people were the last people on earth she wanted to see right now. She was excited to see her best friend, Katie, of course but Lily absolutely hated her twin brother and his best friend. They were arrogant, stuck up, toads. They thought that just because they had money and were star players on the Quidditch team, that they ruled the school and could hex anyone because they felt like it. And their stupid pranks they pulled alone with Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.

"Come on, Petunia." Lily sighed, suddenly feeling tired. "I'll introduce you to them."

"You know them?" Petunia asked in awe. Lily sighed again before she answered that yes, she knew them and yes, they went to her school.

The sisters walked out of Lily's room, down the hall, and through the house until they reached their goal: the porch, were her (shudder) "school buddies" were waiting (as her mother had put it. She had also added a remark about how cute the boys were and how it would be really lucky if Lily dated one. Shudder).

"LILS!" Katie yelled as she ran over to her friend and gave her a hug. Lily smiled and laughed at her friends antics and nodded in the direction of the boys. "Black. Potter."

"You were going to introduce me." Petunia cut in before Lily and Katie could even begin to catch up. Her baby blue eyes begged with her sister as she longingly glanced over at the two boys.

Lily glanced at them, as well. Sirius was still as good-looking as he ever was. His messy black hair and grey eyes really helped his tortured soul look. Katie said that he'd finally move out of his parent's house and in with the Potter's last summer. Sirius _did_ have a reason for looking so tortured. Lily shuddered; if she had to put up with his family would she have a look like that? It wasn't just a tortured look… It was more. Knowing, scared, frightened, angry, and ready to be jumped. Those were the emotions swirling in Sirius's eyes. His easy-going smile and frivolous jokes hide his misery but at that moment, there was nothing joking about Sirius Black. And it scared Lily.

James, too, looked solemn. His hazel eyes stood out today, and for a moment, Lily caught herself feeling a little week-kneed before she reminded herself that she hated him. His messy hair, which fell unnaturally (unlike his best friend's) on his head, no longer looked bad… It looked… good? No, not good, sexy. Lily shook herself at the thought. She was in no way attracted to Potter. He was the biggest jerk she knew, the leader of the marauders, and he was always expecting her to go out with him. She in no way liked him. In any way, not even the way he looked. It was too rehearsed and too forced, she told herself that over and over again… but it didn't stop her from glancing at him, _again_.

"Petunia, this is Katie," She said pointing to her friend who's curling dark hair and hazel eyes that matched her brother's (Katie was considered quite the looker). "James," She pointed to Potter and rolled her eyes at his hopeful expression. "And Sirius," She nodded her head in his direction and caught his gaze. He had a hard look in his eye. Something was not right. "Guys this is Petunia." Lily added with a gesture towards her sister.

Petunia smiled and Lily felt her mouth open wide. Where was the name calling, the yelling, or Petunia telling "the freaks" to get out of her house? And then she noticed Petunia's gaze. It was directed at Sirius and Sirius alone.

"Tuney." Lily whispered. "You have a boyfriend. And Sirius isn't the kind of guy you'd want, anyways. He's a wizard, like me. I thought you hated us…" Lily trailed off, hurt. Was Sirius worth liking just because he was good looking? She would extend kindness to a stranger who really shouldn't be trusted than to her own sister? It hurt, a lot.

Petunia sniffed, catching herself. Then she glared at the three wizards and stalked back into the house. Lily sighed. At least she wasn't choosing Sirius Black over her.

"Sorry." Katie said looking at Lily. "It seems we scared away your sister." Katie knew about Petunia and Lily's messed up relationship and how hard Lily tried to fix it… and only managed to mess it up more.

"Not to be rude," Lily said glancing at Potter as if trying to decide if she did, in fact want to be rude, "But what are you guys doing here?"

"There have been a lot of attacks." Potter began nervously. "And… They've been attacking muggle born witches and wizards. We were worried." Lily looked at James. He did look worried… and sincere.

"We just thought we'd keep you company. Safety in numbers, right?" Sirius jumped in before James could say anything stupid.

Katie, sensing a fight, because knowing her brothers (yes, she considered Sirius a brother), took over. "Well. I was worried and… four is better than two. I was actually hoping you'd come stay with us for the rest of the summer. You know, just to hang out and if it puts our nerves to rest, what can it hurt, right?" Katie was rambling, big time but she knew that Lily would appreciate it.

Lily blinked. She was actually surprised. She was expecting this was James's way of trying to get her to go out with her. She couldn't believe she'd been so conceited. Katie probably forced them here. Well, it made sense.

Katie's offer was tempting. To be back in the Wizarding World and to be treated like being a witch was completely normal, well it might even be worth putting up with Potter. She shook her head. Summer vacations were supposed to be fun. Being hit on by her best friend's brother was not fun but, then again, this summer wasn't exactly top notch either. Lily desperately wanted to go with her but she also wanted to stay. It was weird to be this conflicted.

"I'd have to ask my mom." Lily answered and walked inside, the three followed behind her. James and Sirius were joking around and Katie clutched her arm excitedly and told her all about the fun things that would happen over the summer.

Petunia was sitting on the sofa, reading. She looked up and glared at Lily and her friends. Her eyes were full of hatred. Lily made up her mind. She wanted to go stay with the Potters. Oh, yeah, she really did.

"Lily! We were supposed to spend the summer together." Her mom half-whined. Dawn Evans had pulled her into the other room to discuss the matter with Lily. She didn't want her baby girl gone.

"There's only two more weeks left of school and I really want to go. Please." Lily begged. Suddenly the house was too small, she was too cramped. She wanted to leave.

"Fine. But you better tell me one of those boys is your boyfriend." Dawn teased. And although she knew her mother was joking, Lily also sensed that her mother wanted to hear that she had a boyfriend. Lily knew the look of disappoint that would cross her mother's face when she said that neither of them were her boyfriend and that she didn't, in fact, have a boyfriend.

So she lied. She lied shamelessly and effortlessly. "Yeah. James." She faked a look of embarrassment but the blush that rushed its way onto her face was real.

"Okay, then. You go pack." Lily, realizing what she had just done, did not, under any circumstances, want James alone or near alone with her mother.

"Okay. We'll be upstairs then." She said gesturing to the group in her kitchen.

"Leave the door open!" Dawn said and sighed gleefully. Her daughter had a boyfriend!

AN: leave a review. Tell me what you think, pweeze? This took me awhile to write. Suggestions and helpful comments (negative or otherwise) are always welcomed.

_Next on __Life As You Knew It__:_

"_Potter!" Lily screamed, clutching the towel t her body. "GET OUT!" _

"_Aw, but Lils, I wanted to join you." James smirked widely. _

_Lily wanted to scream. She wanted to kill James. Here he was, IN HER BATHROOM (well in his house, but still), trying to take a shower with her. _


	2. Its only a matter of time

_Previously on __Life As You Knew It:_

_"Fine. But you better tell me one of those boys is your boyfriend." Dawn teased. And although she knew her mother was joking, Lily also sensed that her mother wanted to hear that she had a boyfriend. Lily knew the look of disappoint that would cross her mother's face when she said that neither of them were her boyfriend and that she didn't, in fact, have a boyfriend._

_So she lied. She lied shamelessly and effortlessly. "Yeah. James." She faked a look of embarrassment but the blush that rushed its way onto her face was real._

_"Okay, then. You go pack." Lily, realizing what she had just done, did not, under any circumstances, want James alone or near alone with her mother._

_"Okay. We'll be upstairs then." She said gesturing to the group in her kitchen._

_"Leave the door open!" Dawn said and sighed gleefully. Her daughter had a boyfriend!_

_JLJL  
_

Lily packed her trunk and James slipped out to go to the bathroom. Not wanting to invade anyone's privacy, James went downstairs and asked Mrs. Evans where it was.

"You're James, then?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"Yeah. That's me." He grinned easily. "So tell me, what has your lovely daughter said about me?"

"Oh, I've heard a lot about you." Which was a lie, of course. She only knew that James was Lily's boyfriend but she didn't want to upset him. "Mainly that you're dating my daughter."

James blinked. What? He pinched himself on the arm. Was this a dream? Lily Evans would never agree to date him, unfortunately.

"Uh, um…" He stuttered. What was he supposed to say?

"Oh, was it supposed to be a secret, then?" Mrs. Evans giggled. "Well, don't worry. I can keep a secret." She winked at James and left the room feeling quite pleased with herself.

James stood there dumbfounded for a few minutes before he went back in Lily's room. This time he looked around. His eyes fell upon the girl he'd dreamed of. Her flaming red hair was tied in a ponytail and her bright green eyes stood out, as usual. She wasn't wearing any make-up and she was wearing shorts and a baggy T-shirt but she looked beautiful, nevertheless.

James thought of all the times she had rejected him. And now, suddenly, she tells her mom they're dating? What is that about? It would make him mad, if he wasn't so excited. He wondered, what exactly had drove Lily to lie to her mother?

He knew that soon the lies would become very messy and very tangled. Maybe he should tell her mother the truth. He laughed at the idea. He liked where this was headed. And besides, he was marauder, after all. He was supposed to help troublemakers and if he got something out of this, so be it.

He joined the conversation with extra gusto. Lily looked at him with a curious glance that seemed to last longer than needed. Was she into James? They both wanted to know.

James allowed himself to smirk. This year was going to be the year. He'd finally get the girl of his dreams, Lily Evans. Lily Evans…

Since Katie, James, and Sirius were all seventeen, they could practice magic outside of school. But since Lily's birthday was in a week, she couldn't. Which meant that someone had to help her get back the Potter's.

JLJL

Katie and Sirius, forgetting that Lily couldn't do magic, left; thinking that Lily would be following them shortly. James sighed and offered his arm to Lily laughing at his sister's stupidity. But what sent Lily's mind reeling was that James didn't seem too excited about it. It wasn't like he was disgusted by her, he just didn't seem to care.

And before Lily could get the thought out of her head, Potter opened his mouth. "So, Lils. Can we call this our first date? Since we're together now." He smirked, irksomely.

"What!" Lily asked, dumbfounded. "Where did you get that idea." Lily whispered to make sure her mom didn't hear.

"You're mother told me, honey." He grinned at her. Lily scowled back. Of course it would be like Potter to talk down to her. He would call her honey and take advantage of the situation. The jerk.

"Oh." Lily said and she looked him the eye. "Um… You don't mind playing along, do you? I mean, just while we're here. I'd owe you, of course."

"Hmm… I'll have to think about it. You know, consider my options." She couldn't believe this. He was mocking her! But then he smiled. "Damn Lils, you know I'd love to be your boyfriend."

Lily felt uneasy about this. James had this grin on his face and he looked sincerely happy. She surprised herself when she realized she didn't want to hurt him or her mother. How could she do that? Her mother wanted to see James and her as a couple. James wanted Lily to go out with him. Lily didn't want to see her mother disappointed in her but how could she pretend to go out with James when he so clearly wanted more from her?

"James, we don't have to do this. We can just leave. I… I don't think this is fair to you." Lily said looking at her feet. "I don't want you to feel like you have to do this. Or…" She trailed off when she realized that James was staring at her, open-mouthed.

"Lily, don't do me any favors." He looked down at her (he must have grown over the summer because he was defiantly taller than he was last year) and smirked. "And as much as it means to me to know that you care, I'm really fine with this."

Lily grabbed his arm and began to pull him towards the kitchen, when all of a sudden, James turned them around and turned to face her; the changed positions was so that Lily's back was pressed into the wall and James was standing dangerously close to her.

"But, I want to know why." James said, his Adam's Apple bobbing because of their closeness.

"Why? Why what?" Lily said breathlessly. She felt dazed. And Potter smelled good; he smelt of freshly cut grass, woods, and surprisingly chocolate. She shook her head and recollected herself only to find Potter staring at her, watching the affects _he_ was having on _her_.

"I want to know why you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend. It's so unlike you. Why'd you do it? Why would you lie to your mother?" James said slowly, enjoying the closeness and how flushed _her_ face looked because of _him_.

"Well, when my mom and I were talking about me staying at your place, she asked if you… or Sirius was my boyfriend. She just looked so hopeful. And I knew if I told her the truth, that nobody really wants to be with me, she'd be really disappointed. So I lied. And you should have seen the look on her face. It was so excited… and smitten. I should have thought about what I said before I said it, I know, but once it was out, I couldn't take it back."

"That's not true, you know that, right? I want to be with you." James said, leaning into her. "I don't know how you could not know that because I thought I'd made that clear as day. But just so we are clear, I want to be with you, every second or every day."

James was close to Lily now. So close that their lips where almost touching. Lily felt intoxicated. He smelt so good. She willed his lips to come closer, to actually kiss her. Screw the consequences.

"Lily!" Came a shout. James and Lily jumped apart. "Come say goodbye before you leave."

James smiled. "It's show time."

JLJL

"You'll be good for me? And be polite and nice for James parents?" She smiled warmly at James. "Imagine what your father would say if he knew you were staying with your boyfriend." Dawn Evans shook her head.

"Tell him I'm staying with Katie." Lily said, sighing. "And I'm not two, you know. I _can_ be polite, thank you very much."

"I think we should leave soon, Mrs. Evans. My mom wanted us back by now." James said respectfully.

"Please, call me Dawn." Lily rolled her eyes at her mother. Lily honestly thought she was trying to flirt with _her_ boyfriend. Fake boyfriend, she reminded herself.

"Really mom, we have to go." Lily said, giving her mother a quick kiss on the cheek and yelling over her shoulder a quick "Later, Tunney."

James wrapped his arm around Lily's shoulder and grabbed her trunk (which she didn't even notice he brought down for her until now). He waved goodbye to Dawn and kissed the top of Lily's head smiling affectionately and then with a loud pop, they were gone.

When they reached their destination (the Potter household), James kissed her on the forehead, again, and released Lily. He grabbed her hand and began showing her around.

He brought her into the kitchen first, where Sirius and Kate where waiting.

"Sorry, Lils. We forgot that you had to say goodbye… and that you needed to sidelong… But I'm really glad that you are here, we are going-" She stopped and her eyes narrowed in towards Lily and James hands, still intertwined. Lily looked down, realized who she was holding hands with and quickly dropped James's hand as if it were on fire.

Sirius, missing this whole encounter because he was digging through the fridge, turned around. "Cat got your tongue, Kate?"

"Haha, very funny Sirius. I could have sworn that I saw…" She trailed off looking between James and Lily (who had an awkward amount of space between them and were looking at anything but each other) confusedly. "Never mind."

"My parents will be home soon. I'll show you to your room so you can get cleaned up for dinner. It's dumb, I know, but we always dress up for dinner." Katie said as she dragged Lily up the stairs.

When they reached the guest room (which was huge and included its own bathroom and a walk in closet) Kate rounded on Lily.

"Were you… holding my brother's hand?"

"Um… well, kinda?" Lily glanced at Kate's firm and expecting expression. "My mom thinks that James and I are dating, and we just played along. As we left, James put his arm around me and kissed my head to make it believable and then when we got here, he grabbed my hand and began showing me around. I just… went with it."

It wasn't the full truth, but it was pretty damn close. The only parts she really left out was that she had told her mom that James and her were dating and that they'd almost kissed.

"Oh." Kate responded. "It's just, he's my brother, Lils. I don't want to see him get hurt. And when you rejected him and said all those things to him in the last six years, it was okay because he totally deserved it but he's really grown up over the summer and I don't want to see him hurt. He doesn't deserve it."

"Okay. It won't happen again. No more hand holding, got it." Lily answered.

Kate shook her head, and her pretty curls bounced. "I think that's what's going to hurt him." And just like that, Kate turned around and walked out.

Lily stripped and walked into the bathroom, noticing that there was a door leading to the hallway from the bathroom as well. She grabbed a towel and wrapped around herself as she combed through her hair.

Just then, Potter walked in.

"Potter!" Lily screamed, clutching the towel to her body. "GET OUT!"

"Aw, but Lils, I wanted to join you." James smirked widely.

Lily wanted to scream. She wanted to kill James. Here he was, IN HER BATHROOM (well in his house, but still), trying to take a shower with her.

But before the rant that Lily had in her head escaped her lips, Potter said, in a whiny voice that made him sound like a toddler asking for a cookie, "But you owe me."

"I meant something that involved wearing cloths." Lily sighed. She shouldn't have said that. "Just leave, Potter."

"Okay, love. Maybe next time." And with a wink he was gone.

Merlin, she should remember to keep her doors locked at all times when she was even considering changing. James hadn't even bothered to knock! She quickly locked the door and got into the shower.

Lily wanted to look nice for dinner. Well, she knew she had to dress nicely for dinner but she really, really wanted to look nice. She had no idea why.

She dressed in a black strapless dress that had a pink belt and flower just under the bodice. Katie magically dried and curled her hair. She put on eye-liner and mascara; the first time she put any make-up on this summer. She also put on glittery eye-shadow that made her eyes sparkle and dance mysteriously.

When the girls headed down for dinner, they found the rest of the family was waiting for them. Katie had also dressed in a black dress through her's had bikini straps and flared out at the bottom.

When they walked in the room, all four eyes turned on them. James stood up and he gulped loudly staring at Lily. Mr. Potter grinned as he realized this was the girl that James was always talking about and Mrs. Potter smiled delightedly at finally being introduced to Lily. And she was just such a pretty girl!

Lily glanced at James. He was wearing dress pants and a red shirt and tie. His tanned skin worked well with the dark colors of his shirt and his hazel eyes, which usually hid behind his glasses, seemed to pop out tonight. Her heart jumped to her throat and she feared that everyone at the table could hear it. She thought about how James had came into the bathroom earlier. What if she had let things progress? Would it really be that bad?

And then Lily realized what she had just thought. Oh, Merlin. Bad Lily. BAD! BAD! BAD! She sighed. She had to admit it. Lily was attracted to James Potter. She had admitted it to herself, but that didn't mean she'd EVER admit it to anyone else. EVER!

They sat down for dinner. Lily scooped salad onto her plate and passed it to Katie, who was sitting next to her. As the dinner progressed, Lily stopped and starred horrorstruck at Sirius.

"Lily. You've seen Sirius eat before. Just ignore it." Kate giggled and glanced at her friend.

"Yeah, I just forgot how… disturbing it was. No offense, Sirius." Everyone but Lily and Sirius laughed.

"Thanks Lily." Sirius said with a mouth full of food while glaring at the rest of the family which caused more laughter.

By dessert (chocolate fudge cheese cake), everyone had noticed the looks that James and Lily kept stealing at each other. Sirius and Katie locked eyes and grinned at each other as did Mr. and Mrs. Potter. They all were thinking the same thing: It's just a matter of time.

And everyone sitting at the table was okay with Lily and James, though Lily would never admit it.

Really, it was just a matter of time.

JLJL

AN: Reviews are always welcome. Please, please, please review. I beg of you.

_Next on Life As You Know It: _

_Lily and James were left alone. Lily was nervous despite what she was feeling at dinner, she didn't know if she wanted something to happen between Potter and her. It just… No! She didn't like Potter. She thought he was attractive but he was still a pompous, arrogant jerk. Right? _

"_Lily?" James asked, closing the distance between them. "I had fun tonight." _

_He grinned. He took another step forward. Lily took a step back. Three more steps forward, three steps backwards. Lily hit the wall. James leaned in close. _

"_Goodnight, Lily." He said into her ear, sending chills down Lily's spine. He turned around and walked out, leaving Lily confused and disappointed. _


	3. Denail is better than the truth

**AN: Reviews are always welcome. Please, please, please review. I beg of you. I really want to know the opinions of the people reading my story, so if you read this and liked it, or even hated it, please leave a review. Do it for Sirius? **

_Previously on __Life As You Knew It:_

_By dessert (chocolate fudge cheese cake), everyone had noticed the looks that James and Lily kept stealing at each other. Sirius and Katie locked eyes and grinned at each other as did Mr. and Mrs. Potter. They all were thinking the same thing: It's just a matter of time. _

_And everyone sitting at the table was okay with Lily and James, though Lily would never admit it. _

_Really, it was just a matter of time. _

_LJLJ_

After dinner, Mr. and Mrs. Potter declared themselves much too tired and retired to their bedrooms, leaving the kids to enjoy the mansion by themselves. The four remaining took turns suggesting what they should do to pass the time. Sirius and James's idea of playing Quidditch was shot down quickly because even though Katie was on the team and Lily didn't completely suck, it was too dark outside. Katie and Lily's idea to just follow suit and return to their own respective rooms was vetoed rather speedily by James as he wanted to spend time with the lovely Lily.

"I know!" Sirius suddenly burst out. "We should play spin the bottle!"

While James and Katie had no idea what that particular game was, Lily knew well enough to roll her eyes and protest.

"No. For one, we don't have enough people. Two: James and Katie couldn't kiss each other, that's incest, and I'm assuming that you don't want to kiss James (although you may, and I'm not judging so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong with my assumption) which means that James wouldn't even have to spin because he'd have to end up kissing me every time he got a turn. And the same goes for Katie, who'd have to kiss you every time she had a turn. Really, there's no point in this game." Sirius nodded, but seeing as Katie and James didn't know what spin the bottle was, the twins just stared at the two like they were crazy.

"No, I like that game. Really, I do." James said quickly, giving Lily a sly grin. "I'd also like the first twenty turns." He winked. Lily laughed. Somewhere in the back of her head said she should be mad at James for hitting on her but she couldn't work up the nerve and she found that she really didn't want to be mad at him.

"Haha. I'm with Lily." Katie declared and glanced at Sirius, whom she did NOT want to kiss. "Let's do something else."

"Well," Lily began slyly. "We could play truth or dare."

LJLJ

"Lily, love, truth or dare?" Sirius asked, earning himself a smack on the head from James. .

They had been playing the game for a half an hour and all of the partakers seemed to be enjoying themselves immensely. Lily had begrudging admitted that she found James attractive, Katie had declared her love for Severus Snape (a dare, not a truth), James had danced around like a monkey as per Sirius's dare, Sirius had admitted that he had had a thing for Katie in the second year, James and Sirius had to slow dance, Katie had to kiss Lily on the check (which really wasn't that big of a deal but Sirius, being Sirius, deemed it was), Lily had to dance around the room as sexily as possible (Katie's dare, surprising, not that James didn't enjoy it), Sirius declared he was a boxer person, and James had decided that he was a monkey, not a turtle in another life. Now it was Lily's turn.

"Hmmm. Dare." She said, feeling quite bold.

"Alright, then. I dare you to kiss James." Lily look at him, shocked. But after a minute, she sighed. She was brave, and it was just a kiss but she vaguely thought how this would affect James and what it would mean to him. She sent a glare in the direction of Sirius. She didn't want to hurt James.

She stood up, walked over to James and leaned in, when Sirius interjected. "I think you should sit on his lap. I make that part of the dare. Oh, and with tongue, too." He grinned and winked.

Lily raised an eyebrow at James, who nodded, and then climbed onto his lap, straddling him. She leaned in and kissed James. She sighed a little, not expecting the kiss to feel this good. James, who was deeply surprised by the reaction that Lily had made, traced his tongue on her lip, begging for entrance. Lily granted it, telling herself that she was only doing this because it was part of the dare. But soon, James and Lily lost themselves in the mist of the kiss.

Lily's arms wrapped themselves around James, moving on their own accord, of course. James's hands, which had been placed hesitantly on Lily's waist, began to trace up and down her back, exploring the new found territory greedily.

They had been kissing for close to a minute when Katie coughed causing James and Lily to jump apart, both flushed and blushing furiously. Lily looked into James's eyes for a moment, noticing how dark with desire they were, and quickly got of him. His eyes showed how much he wanted her. Dark with desire, for her. But that wasn't what had scared her. Desire wasn't the only look in James's eyes. There was also love and care and bloody admiration.

"So, Jamsie, how did you enjoy my dare?" Sirius grinned.

"Shut up, Padfoot." James said, looking very distracted, his Adam's Apple bobbing as he looked at Lily and remembered what had just taken place and what they had just done. Oh, Merlin, did it feel good.

"My turn." Lily said, changing the subject quickly. "Katie, truth or dare?"

"If I say dare, will you force me to kiss Sirius?" Katie asked wearily. She didn't want to kiss Sirius.

"Hey, I resent that! I am a very kissable person, Kate." Sirius interjected.

Lily faked a gasp and put on a look of mock outburst, "Really, Kate, do you think I would subject you to that? Honestly it's like you doubt my love for you." Lily said, grinning.

"Really now, if you two want to kiss, too, I'm okay with it." Sirius said, a devilish smirk playing on his lips. "I'd like another show to watch."

"Padfoot!" James whisper-yelled, so he did not wake his parents up. "Leave them alone." He smacked the back of Sirius's head, again.

"Well then," Katie broke in. "Dare."

Lily had to think of what to say. What could she dare her friend to do? And then it came to her. Really, she was just plain cruel. Should she?

"I dare you to write a letter to Molly saying that you've fallen completely in love Sirius and plan on having his children and naming them Sirius Jr. and Katie Jr." It was a known fact that Molly hated Sirius because of the childish way he acted and they all knew that he response would be very negative.

"HEY! You said the dare would have nothing to do with Sirius!" She said accusingly.

Lily laughed and smirked a little. "Nope, I said you wouldn't have to kiss Sirius. And you don't." She grinned devilishly.

James and Sirius just stared at her before they, too, joined in her laughter.

LJLJ

After awhile, and a lot of silly dares, they decided to go to bed. The four trampled up the stairs.

"Night, guys." Katie said walking to her.

"Yeah, later." Sirius added walking farther down the hall to his room and disappearing out of sight.

Lily and James were left alone. Lily was nervous despite what she was feeling at dinner, she didn't know if she wanted something to happen between Potter and her. It just… No! She didn't like Potter. She thought he was attractive but he was still a pompous, arrogant jerk. Right?

"Lily?" James asked, closing the distance between them. "I had fun tonight."

He grinned. He took another step forward. Lily took a step back. Three more steps forward, three steps backwards. Lily hit the wall. James leaned in close.

"Goodnight, Lily." He said into her ear, sending chills down Lily's spine. He turned around and walked towards in room (the farthest room from hers), leaving Lily confused and disappointed.

Aw, fuck it! She may like James, just a little. It was nothing that couldn't be solved easily… She hoped.

LJLJ

_James was standing in the empty hallway, beaconing Lily to follow him. He had a cocky grin on his face and he didn't even look back to see if she was following him. He just knew that she was. He entered his room, leaving the door ajar, so she could follow. _

_Lily entered, peering in the door a little confusedly. _

"_Come on, love. It's not hard, I promise." He smiled genuinely at her. He reached over, grabbed her hand, and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "You did it before." _

_Lily felt herself nodding and leaning in. James's soft lips touched hers. It was a gentle, adoring kiss that he quickly broke. He grabbed her waste and pulled towards the chair, where they sat, Lily on James's lap. _

_Lily kissed James this time, but it was deeper and slower. It was the kind of kiss that was meant to make knees go weak and faces flush. This is what she had been dreaming about. _

_There was a voice in the back of Lily's head that said she shouldn't be doing this but she ignored it, her guilty pleasure was worth it. James's hands began to wander and Lily felt herself moan into his mouth. _

_James shifted her weight so she was straddling him and smirked into the kiss. He really did enjoy kissing her. _

And then Lily woke up. She couldn't remember what her dream was about, but she knew it had been a good one, nevertheless. She rolled over and fell back into pleasant dreams.

LJLJ

The four woke up to a relatively empty house. Besides themselves, the only creatures in the mansion were the house elves. They enjoyed a breakfast of eggs, bacon, toast, and pancakes and decided to head out to the pool for a swim.

Lily, not realizing that Katie had a pool, had not brought her swimsuit so she had to borrow one of Katie's. Lily, who was a relatively modest person compared to Katie, who didn't care what people thought of her, was slightly embarrassed with the swimsuit she had on.

It was black and strapless with a circular hole in between her breasts; it was tight, for Lily had just discovered she had bigger boobs than Katie. The bottoms were a tad too big, and showed off just a little too much butt for Lily's liking. But she knew she shouldn't complain because she really did love to swim. She smirked and wondered what James's reaction to her suite would be. And then she caught herself and mentally corrected her very bad thoughts.

"Katie, can you put some sunscreen on me?" Lily asked knowing that her fair skin stood no chance against the devilishly hot July sun.

"I will." James said and before she could protest, James had his hands on her shoulders and was slowly massaging her should.

He was taking his sweet time, and they both knew it. James worked his way slowly down her back and Lily stifled a moan as he lightly brushed against her skin. He gathered more sunscreen in his hands and began to work on her lower back. Lily could hardly take it! Why was he having this affect on her? He certainly shouldn't be, that's for sure.

Before James released her, he pulled her closer into his chest and whispered, "You know you enjoyed that, love."

"I did bloody not, you git." Lily said. Denial was better than the truth, after all.

Sirius, noticing the change from friendly to unfriendly frowned. Lily Evans was on difficult person and that was fine but she could not, under any circumstances, hurt James. AGAIN. He knew that his friend normally laughed off the rejection he received from Lily, but he saw how much it really affected him and how much she really hurt him. And that was not okay with Sirius. Even if James did deserve some of it.

"Hey, Lils?" Sirius called, gesturing for her to come closer to the pool. "Come here for a sec?"

"Okay, what's up?" Lily asked and before she could finish her sentence, Sirius had picked her up and thrown her into the pool.

"Sirius Black, you jackass!" Lily said, half-jokingly.

"I'm sorry, Lily-flower. Let me help you up." He said extending her his hand.

"No, Sirius. Let me help you." She smirked and grabbed his hand and pulled him into the water as well. Revenge was sweet.

Sirius and Lily then proceeded to join together in a mission to throw James and Katie into the pool. They succeed, though Lily had to distract James before they were able to push him into the water…

The four continued the rest day laughing and splashing in the pool until Mr. and Mrs. Potter returned home from work. Little did they know, that the days where just about to get darker…

LJLJ

**AN: Sorry it's kind of short, but I'm really tired. Anyways, there is some Lily and James action for you. Question for all those who care, should the next chapter be a trip to Diagon Ally or should it be some more fun spent at the Potter's? Let me know by reviewing. And though some may feel differently, it really isn't that hard. You just click the little button at the bottom of the page and hit a few buttons. That's all I ask for. **

_Next on Life As You Know It:_

"_There have been some muggle attacks lately." Mr. Potter said, looking grave. _

"_Oh, no. Not again. They don't even stand a chance. They have no way to defend themselves. It's rather cruel, actually." Mrs. Potter said, she herself, muggleborn. _

"_Anyone we know?" Sirius asked, looking fearful. James and Sirius shared a look, they were worried. It seems like a war is on its way. They knew, they'd join cause but even if they knew they would readily take arms and fight, it didn't stop them from being the slightest bit scared. _

"_Unfortunately, yes."Katie said, looking over father's shoulder at the newspaper he was holding. "Lily…" _


	4. Two lives were taken, today

**AN: Reviews are always welcome. Please, please, please review. I beg of you. I really want to know the opinions of the people reading my story, so if you read this and liked it, or even hated it, please leave a review. Do it for Sirius? **

**WARNING: DARK CHAPTER! The beginning is from a bitter onlooker of the times the characters are facing, also with some of my views and ramblings. Someone tell me what they think… I fear it may be too… ugh… I don't know, which is why you should leave me a review. **

_Previously on __Life As You Knew It:_

"_No, Sirius. Let me help you." She smirked and grabbed his hand and pulled him into the water as well. Revenge was sweet. _

_Sirius and Lily then proceeded to join together in a mission to throw James and Katie into the pool. They succeed, though Lily had to distract James before they were able to push him into the water… _

_The four continued the_ _rest day laughing and splashing in the pool until Mr. and Mrs. Potter returned home from work. Little did they know_, _that the days where just about to get darker… _

_LJLJ_

This is the very worst wickedness, that we refuse to acknowledge the passionate evil that is in us. This makes us secret and rotten.

LJLJ

This, unfortunately, is where our story begins to darken. Days where beginning to number for some; fear would be spreading like wildfire, as a man determined to hate and forbidden to love, begins to attempt to destroy all hopes for a happy ending. For those who will fight most honorably, will die first and those who hide and scurry and follow blindly will be the last to die because their deaths were nothing short of inevitable. A spoiler for some, a truth to all, it comes to be reckoned, that our most favorite and most honorable characters will be the first to fall, for death marks all, at some point.

Now friends, come around, listen closely, for advice so frankly spoken is hard to come by, there comes a saying, by and by, if a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live. For James, it Lily; for Lily it is love; for Katie it is those she cares most; for Sirius it is his siblings (real in all but blood). Now the time comes for love to take its toll for there is nothing more powerful than love and when so strongly felt for one purpose, it will only lead to death.

But fear not, death is never in vain. It may seem cruel and may harsh, but the deaths of our most favorite characters are the reason we live the life we live.

LJL

Dark within the night, a very inhumane man, lurks in the shadows. He pulls out his wand, the most deadly of weapons and points it against the defenseless family.

Asleep their beds, there is nothing they can do. For even awake, they have no magical talents. The Evans family, I am said to say, will lose two this dreadful night, as Lord Voldomort decides to take their lives.

It's simple and quick, their lives are gone in a flash. There are no goodbyes or sad tearful moments; Dawn and David Evans are killed while their minds are filled with peaceful dreams. The man, evil and barely human, turns to the next room to find it empty.

Petunia Evans isn't home and one life will be spared tonight, though not because he wishes it.

LJL

Lily woke up, damp with sweat, and felt dread wash through her. Something was not right. Lily had always had a good intuition and now she fears the worst. Something has happened to those she cares about; she can feel it creeping within her veins. She tried to tell herself that its only nerves and she almost believes her lies but sleep will not come.

She tosses and turns in her bed, fearing the worst. She thinks about James and their changed relationship to try and rid herself of those awful thoughts that seep so deeply into her soul. She thinks about how when she looks at him, she feels herself blush and how she wants so much to trust him but she won't let herself.

The last few days have been crazy fun, she realizes, and she wishes they would never end. Later that day, when she deems it early enough to get up, she walks down the hall and joins Mr. and Mrs. Potter for a cup of coffee.

"Lily, dear, what on earth are you doing up so early?" Alexander Potter asked his voice full of concern.

"I just couldn't sleep. With all the things that have been happening, it's just hard to fathom how things continue without delay. I mean, there are so many deaths every day, most of them occurring simply because some people don't have magical powers. I mean, magic is a gift and it seems that a lot of wizards are misusing it. Think about it, why do wizards care what muggles do? Why do muggles care what wizards do? As long as they aren't causing trouble or doing something to put each other in harm, they don't have to be a part of each other. In a perfect society they'd be able to accept each other, but we can't even coexist. Why is everyone so determined to hate people who are different than them."

Lily paused to take a breath. Voicing these thoughts felt nice and the Potter's seemed to agree with herself, so Lily found herself continuing with her rant. "Hatreds are formed out of what? Three things: anger, lies, and misunderstandings. I think the person behind this, you-know-who, who started this whole movement (the hatreds where there but nobody was killing people for no good reason, or at least it wasn't happening on a scale this large) knows and understands muggles. He may have been lied to, which makes him angry or he has been mistreated by muggles. I think if we all came together, and understood the other side of the story- if you're muggle, than to understand what it's like to be a wizard, and if you're a wizard, then what it's like to be a muggle- we may be able to come to an agreement, at the very least."

"You know, Ms. Lily, I've heard so many stories about you, from both James and Katie. James stories always focused on how amazing you were and Katie's stories were about the good times you had and how you changed her. For awhile, I couldn't imagine my children meeting such a person, you just seemed so unreal. James made you sound like some Goddess, who made sure justice was made and lives were saved, Katie, on the other hand, made you sound like you not only the best friend, but the mother. I've met you and I realize that you are exactly how they described you. It's interesting to see, really, how wrong a person can become when they allow themselves to be cynical." Mrs. Potter, let out a laugh, quite clearly disbelieving.

"I think all three of you have built me up so high in your heads that I can never achieve the greatness you all think I will. I'm not perfect, Mrs. Potter. I get lazy, I pick fights with my sister, I have been a complete jerk to your son, I've come crying to your daughter (who has given me a fair amount of good advice), I've ranted to your daughter about your son, I'm much too uptight, and half the time I act completely based on my emotions and not on what I should be doing. I really do thank you for your compliments, but I don't think they're all true." Lily said, blushing at all the wonderful compliments she had been given.

Mrs. Potter and Lily spent a half an hour talking about all the things James had done, and all the funny stories about Hogwarts that Lily could think of.

The others joined them and Mr. Potter began reading the paper.

"There have been some muggle attacks lately." Mr. Potter said, looking grave.

"Oh, no. Not again. They don't even stand a chance. They have no way to defend themselves. It's rather cruel, actually." Mrs. Potter said, she herself, muggleborn.

"Anyone we know?" Sirius asked, looking fearful. James and Sirius shared a look, they were worried. It seems like a war is on its way. They knew, they'd join cause but even if they knew they would readily take arms and fight, it didn't stop them from being the slightest bit scared.

"Unfortunately, yes."Katie said, looking over father's shoulder at the newspaper he was holding. "Lily…"

Lily looked up, realizing that fears had just been justified. "Who?" One word is all she said, but it was enough to let everyone in the room know, she was slowly breaking inside.

James looked over, saw the horrible news and threw his arms around her neck. "Lily, darling, it's… your parents were… there gone, honey. I'm so sorry."

She pushed and shoved against his arms, but James was stronger. She got angry and yelled until finally she just let go and broke in his arms. She cried against his chest as she felt all of her hope fade away.

LJLJ

In the next few days, Lily would become something out of a horror film. She spoke without passion, she listened without hearing, she looked without seeing, she touched without feeling, her body moved and reacted but her mind was gone. She was numb.

Lily had finally come to terms, the world was an awful place.

LJLJ

AN: Sorry about the shortness, but I can't write anymore at the moment. This story is going to be a mix of light and dark, so you know. Please review, do it for Lily. The more reviews I get, the sooner she'll become happier. Thanks for your support. Please, one review three chapters… please, review.

_Next on __Life As You Knew It__:_

"_You're supposed to be my best friend, not a freaking zombie!" Katie spat, her eyes darkening and her face reddening. _

"_Well I'm sorry my fucking parents died. But I forgot we're all supposed to focus on Katie 24/7. My bad, I fucking forgot."_

_Katie didn't have a response to Lily's screams. She'd only wanted Lily to act normal and somehow they'd gotten into this horrible fight. But at least Lily was showing some emotion, that was good, right? _


	5. Live your life, anyone can die

**AN: Reviews are always welcome. Please, please, please review. I beg of you. I really want to know the opinions of the people reading my story, so if you read this and liked it, or even hated it, please leave a review. Do it for Sirius? **

**WARNING: DARK CHAPTER! Lily's going to be a little scary during this chapter… I hope I can make her better by the end, but I'm worried she's gonna turn out a little like Bella in New Moon (ick, don't get me started on how awfully written those books were and how much they needed a red pen…). I don't know, which is why you should leave me a review. **

_Previously on __Life As You Knew It:_

_She cried against his chest as she felt all of her hope fade away. _

_LJLJ_

_In the next few days, Lily would become something out of a horror film. She spoke without passion, she listened without hearing, she looked without seeing, she touched without feeling, her body moved and reacted but her mind was gone. She was numb. _

_Lily had finally come to terms, the world was an awful place. _

LJLJ

"Have the courage to live. Anyone can die."  
-Robert Cody

_LJLJ_

Concealed by the dark of night, the cruel man flirted from shadow to shadow. He walked swiftly into the muggle household, choosing by random which house he'd enter; which family he'd murder.

They had done nothing to him, he wouldn't have even of known their names, except for the fact that it was written on their mailbox. He entered the home with a simple spell and gave little to no thought about the lives he would be taking today.

He was not the kind of man to feel love, guilt, or happiness; oh, no, he was much too inhuman to feel emotions so frivolous. And as he glanced around he spotted a girl, her age barely thirteen, sitting watching reruns of her favorite show, and he showed no mercy. Not even a flicker of emotion crossed through her face. To him, she wasn't worth it. He took her life without even a hesitative glance. He watched the whites leave her eyes, and felt not even a vague feeling of guilt.

Let me be the first to introduce you to, Lord Voldomort, the darkest wizard of all time. But not the greatest.

The snake-like creature whom has just been introduced, continue deeper into the house to find another girl, four years younger than her sister, asleep in her bed; her dreams pleasant and her demeanor peaceful. He took that away. She was perfectly healthy, beautiful, and smart. Maybe she could have changed the world. You never know, but she's dead now, you see, because a man decided he was fit to decide who lives and who dies.

He would continue down the house to kill the others in the house. A nineteen year-old boy, holding his fiancé in his sleep, a middle-aged couple who knew nothing of the murders that had happened under their roof, and a little dog the only creature in the house who knew something was amiss.

Six lives were taken on this dreadful night. And for what? The movement against muggles, you see. The man, cruel and inhumane as he may be, is the reason we fear the sounds that go bump in the night. He's the reason people sleep with weapons on their bedside tables. He isn't the devil, oh, no. He's just the devil's right hand man.

_LJLJ_

Again, some free advice up for grabs. When times are dark, hold on to your loved ones with all your might. Tell them you love them every second you can. Because when times go bad, you'll never know when you'll see them last.

LJLJ

Katie Potter went about her normal business, throughout the day. It wasn't a normal day, it her best friend in the whole-wide-world's birthday, today. Katie had been worried about Lily, after her parents death she became… well gone. She was there, sure; she ate what was given to her and talked when spoken to. But her eyes where glazed and everything was forced.

James, Sirius, and Katie had come up with a plan to distract Lily, if it was only for a little while. Just for her birthday, which she deserved to be fun.

Katie just hoped that it would work. He hazel eyes sparkled as she looked over the house she had decorated. The three wizards had enchanted the whole house so that it looked… magical. Every room had a new theme and each one was in honor of one Ms. Lily Evans.

They invited anyone from school that Lily had liked. It was the party of the year but Lily was nowhere to be found.

When Alice, Molly, and Katie found Lily the dressed and groomed Lily to look her best. Make-up was applied, hair was done, dresses where put on, and compliments were made but still Lily could not seem to smile a real smile. She asked to be alone, if only for a few moments to collect herself and since it was the most human thing Lily had done in the last few days, they let her. They worried, but they still allowed her the space she had asked for.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She was shadow of herself. Lily sighed. She had to have fun, at least for today. Her parents funeral was tomorrow, and she decided that for the next few hours, she'd forget that tomorrow she would bury the people whose deaths where her fault.

LJLJ

James Potter was worried, as well. Lily Evans, his Lily, was falling apart. He had to do something. Their simply had to be something he could say or do to make her better because if he couldn't he didn't know what he would do.

He loved Lily; it was as simple as that. He had from the moment he'd met her. He'd been too immature to handle it, at the time but he had matured quite a lot this summer and was ready to embrace a relationship with Lily. Now, he just had to get her on board, too.

But at the moment, he didn't care if she ever decided to date him. His main propriety was just seeing her smile a real smile. Needless to say, he was worried sick.

LJLJ

They handed her presents to open, and she did, one by one. Money, cards, necklaces, earrings, boxes, and gifts were thrown at Lily. She smiled and laughed and talked when she needed to but it still seemed forced.

"Lily-flower, m'dear, how are we doing, today?" Sirius asked, for he was boldest of the three.

"Okay, I guess." Her answer was lame, she knew but what else could she say for she knew he'd see through any lie she uttered.

"It'll get better." He said, pulling her into a reassuring hug. "I know you may not want to talk to me, but there are plenty of people willing to listen, if you're willing to talk. You aren't alone, flower. I just wanted you to know."

Sirius stayed there and hugged her for what seemed like hours. But it was exactly what Lily needed. Sirius had just proven to be a great friend.

The party ended and the night faded away. James helped Lily to bed and look at her face, watching for any sign that might indicate he needed to stay and watch her for the night. He knew he was becoming paranoid, but he really didn't want to see his Lily hurt.

"James?" She mumbled in her sleep.

"I'm right here, sweetie. What do you need?" James's voice was kind and soothing.

"Stay with me tonight?" She knew she was asking too much of him but she he'd comply.

"Of course. I'll uh, just sleep on the floor." He said, preparing himself for an awful nights worth of sleep.

"No, no. With me." She said, lazily patting the space next to her, trying to make room for him.

He slid into bed with her and held her as she cried. For tomorrow, this how ordeal became real for the both of them.

"Come with me, tomorrow?" Lily begged and James, not for a second, even thought of denying her of her wishes.

LJLJ

The funeral was long and hard. Petunia was hurt and confused. All she knew was it was her bitch of a sister's fault. If she wasn't a- a- you-know-what then her parents might be alive.

She knew she couldn't reasonably blame her sister and that she was really just upset. So when she saw Lily, she did her best to be kind but she knew that after this, they'd never speak again.

The funeral was hard, on Lily to but she had James. And that's all that really mattered to Lily.

LJLJ

"You're supposed to be my best friend, not a freaking zombie!" Katie spat, her eyes darkening and her face reddening.

"Well I'm sorry my fucking parents died. But I forgot we're all supposed to focus on Katie 24/7. My bad, I fucking forgot."

Katie didn't have a response to Lily's screams. She'd only wanted Lily to act normal and somehow they'd gotten into this horrible fight. But at least Lily was showing some emotion, which was good, right?

It had been four weeks, four freaking weeks. They'd gone back to school and tried to move on but Lily could. Katie was beginning to worry more and more with each passing hour. Someone needed to help Lily and someone needed to act fast.

Katie had tried but to no avail. It was time she spoke to James. He would help, and succeed. She had so much faith in her brother. Little did Katie know, that as she plotted her friends happiness, her life was becoming endangered.

LJLJ

AN: This is the part where Lily becomes more and more sad. But a certain James is going to make it all better, soon. Please leave a review. Sorry this chapter was so short.

_Next on __Life As You Knew It__:_

"_Lily Evans, will you go out with me?" James uttered. This was a lame attempt to get any reaction out of Lily. Any kind of emotion out of her would be better than none. _

"_Has hell frozen over, yet?" Lily said, her eyes narrowing as she began to speak harshly. "You're an arrogant, bullying, toe rag. Why on earth would I go out with you? For some weird reason, you have sick obsession with me. You think you're helping me but you're not, James. Why won't you leave me alone?" He voice came out as a sob and James pulled her into his embrace. _

_She sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. How had this happened to her? _

"_I'm sorry." She whispered. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." This was the beginning of the healing of Lily Evans. _


	6. The resistance

**AN: Reviews are always welcome. Please, please, please review. I beg of you. I really want to know the opinions of the people reading my story, so if you read this and liked it, or even hated it, please leave a review. Do it for Sirius? **

**WARNING: DARK CHAPTER! Lily's going to be a little scary during this chapter… I hope I can make her better by the end, but I'm worried she's gonna turn out a little like Bella in New Moon (ick, don't get me started on how awfully written those books were and how much they needed a red pen…). I don't know, which is why you should leave me a review. **

_Previously on __Life As You Knew It:_

_It had been four weeks, four freaking weeks. They'd gone back to school and tried to move on but Lily couldn't. Katie was beginning to worry more and more with each passing hour. Someone needed to help Lily and someone needed to act fast._

_Katie had tried but to no avail. It was time she spoke to James. He would help, and succeed. She had so much faith in her brother. Little did Katie know that as she plotted her friend's happiness, her life was becoming endangered. _

LJLJ

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.  
~Mark Twain

LJLJ

Lord Voldomort, though dark and evil, was still human, regardless of his attempts at quenching all humanity. He still felt human emotions: anger, fear, and pain. And yes, my dear friends, he did fear. He fears more than anyone you'll ever meet.

But his fear is different from yours or mine. He doesn't fear snakes or spiders nor does he fear evil and cruelty. Oh, no, his fears go much deeper than that. You see, he fears life. He fears the lives of those who are different then he, and for those he doesn't understand. For surely, what we do not know, is certainly dangerous and horribly wrong and impure. He also fears death. He who has taken so many lives without a single thought or even a remembrance of guilt, fears death. It's ironic, really.

Lord Voldomort began doing evil things, more evil then murder, lies, and cruelty. He began to cut apart soul. Slowly and surely, he became less and less human and more and more fiend. He became snake-like and hollow. Lord Voldomort, though he'd never admit it, feared the end of his rule and the end of his life, and in trying to protect his life, he began to destroy it.

LJLJ

When days get dark, people tend to follow the trend. Spirits darken and hearts turn bitter. People run scared and ciaos ensues. And when this sort of problem occurs, it is best to hold on to your friends. Because you can choose your friends, while the world chooses your enemies.

Now some may say, this is a sad story, which I am telling. Some may call me a coward for hiding in the dark for so long. Some may pity me and some will try and save me. But no one can. You see, my fate is already sealed, and I know that my death will come soon.

I haven't been the best person in the past, and I've made choices I know I shouldn't have, but alas, it's much too late in life to regret that.

I tell you this now, because you wouldn't want to make the same mistakes as I did, many years ago. Keep your loved ones close and forget about your enemies. Don't follow blindly; don't listen to what anyone says, for only you can deem a future worth living.

When you find out who I am, you'll never forgive me, so I'll continue my tale, while I know you're curious and at the end, and only then, I'll reveal my true identity.

Just remember, my friends, that life is too short to be selfish.

LJLJ

Katie Potter looked at the group of people assembled in the room of requirement. There were students she knew, students she didn't know, and students she had known all her life. And they were all here to listen to what she had to say. It had originally been Lily's idea, last year. To form bonds and show that no matter the differences, everyone had something in common. In short, they were creating a resistance.

Lily had done all the research; she had hand hand-picked the students that were standing in front of Katie. Lily had chosen the people she saw greatness in; she had planned to lead them and to help them. She had planned to persuade them. She hoped they'd all aspire to be what she saw in them.

And now Lily, bless her heart, was broken. And that left Katie to lead these people.

And Katie had never been a leader. She wasn't like her brother; she didn't stand out or demand attention. She didn't flaunt her talents or need to prove anything to anybody. And she certainly wasn't Lily, who stood up and declared what she believed in loudly. She didn't scream at James for his mistakes and she didn't have amazing talents when it came to school.

Katie was the kind of person who stood in the shadows. If you knew her, you loved her because she was sweet, kind, and caring. And if you didn't know here, you smiled at her, because she looked so innocent. She was the kind of person who helped everyone and gave no heed to what she needed. She gave her ideas, thoughts, and kindness to someone else. She wasn't a coward; she just didn't like the attention.

And now Katie Potter had to stand up and declare what she believed in. She had to flaunt her talents, stand out, demand attention, prove to the world just who she was, and tell people their mistakes. It scared Katie shitless.

And for once, there was no one there to do it for her.

LJLJ

"In light of the recent changes," Katie read off of Lily's cards she had prepared for herself. Her voice was shaky and she sure as hell didn't sound convincing. "To our world and to our lives, it has become clear to me that we have to make a change. There are things to fight for in the world and things to die for. And now it comes time to decide what is worth your time and what isn't."

Aw, fuck it, Katie decided. Lily could pull off this speech but she couldn't. Half these people only knew her as Lily's friend. So the speech that Lily created would not do.

"Alright, so this speech, it was made by Lily. I wish I could say the things she does with the kind of passion and persuasion she does, but I can't. I'm not Lily. And I know you are all wondering what you are doing here. So I'll tell you. Lily Evans thought you were brilliant and could change the world."

Every eye was one Katie now, and she forced herself to remain calm. If she could only be more like her brother and enjoy this attention, then she'd be fine. And then an idea sprung to mind. She doesn't like the attention but she could pretend that she did.

"I see it, too, what she saw in all of you. This room is full of the future Minster of Magic's, inventors of spells, creators of new potions, and so much more. You all can aspire to greatness." Katie paused again, but this time for dramatic effect.

"But the world we are going to be entering within the next seven years, it's not great. It's filled with abuse, cruelty, and hatred. A war is coming; I don't doubt that you are aware of that. There are men and women out there whose goal is to harm you. To force you to join or to kill you. And we have no idea what will happen in the next few years. Half the people standing here may end up dead and the other half may have killed them. And that's why Lily and I asked you to come down here tonight. What if we could change that? What if there was some way to join together. What if there was some way to bring down the cruelty? To fight? Would you join?"

"This you-know-who person is taking lives. He murdered Lily's parents personally and his followers do just that, follow his lead. He cares about blood and heritage more than he does talent and character. He doesn't care if you spent your whole life trying to fit in with in a world you didn't know about until you were eleven and received this mysterious letter and house call from even stranger people claiming to be professors. He doesn't care if you think he's wrong. He doesn't care if you know he's wrong. He doesn't care. If you stand in his way, he will kill you. It really is as simple as that." Katie was far from done and she had every eye focusing on her. Her face was flushed and her eyes were sparkling; the people in the audience couldn't help but see the resemblance she had to Lily but they also knew she was different and that's why he words meant so much. Katie was against attention but here she was, standing in front of a bunch of people, telling them how she felt.

"But you know what? I'm ready to die. If that means my life, instead of someone else's, then hell yes, I will look death in the eye and tell it to take me. Take me for all I'm worth. I will fight to death, lead in to battle, and take everything else life throws at me. And I want you to help me. I know that somewhere deep down, you all know that what he's doing is wrong. Some of you may be afraid to step up and I understand that. But this problem is bigger my fear and it's bigger than yours. We have come together. We have to work together. We have to fight together. Because united we stand; divided we fall. Together we can change the world. I want to know, who's in?"

Everyone in the room had a lot to think over. A few people (the marauders, Molly Prewett, Alice Prewett, Frank Longbottom, and Author Weasley) joined instantly. The others would meet back tomorrow to give their answers.

LJLJ

"Lily Evans, will you go out with me?" James uttered. This was a lame attempt to get any reaction out of Lily. Any kind of emotion out of her would be better than none.

"Has hell frozen over, yet?" Lily said, her eyes narrowing as she began to speak harshly. "You're an arrogant, bullying, toe rag. Why on earth would I go out with you? For some weird reason, you have sick obsession with me. You think you're helping me but you're not, James. Why won't you leave me alone?" He voice came out as a sob and James pulled her into his embrace.

She sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. How had this happened to her?

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." This was the beginning of the healing of Lily Evans.

For a day, James was the only person Lily would talk to. James would never admit it, but he was secretly happy that he was the only one she would talk to. Their friendship was blooming and although James knew he wanted more out of their relationship, he'd have to accept that for now, they were just friends.

LJLJ

A few days later and Lily was back on feet, horrified with the way she had acted. Though she missed her parents dearly, she knew she had to live. She quickly assumed her role as Head Girl and was surprised by how amazing James had done in her absence.

She attended the next meeting for the resistance that she helped create (she had refused to take full credit as it was Katie's speech that really helped promote their cause). Katie refused the position of leadership and handed if to James and Lily who were quite fit for the job.

The resistance included students from three of the four houses including: Remus Lupin (Gryffindor-7th year), Peter Pettigrew (Gryffindor 7th year), James Potter (Gryffindor 7th year), Sirius Black (Gryffindor 7th year), Alice Prewett (Gryffindor 7th year), her cousin Molly Prewett (Gryffindor 7th year), Lily Evans (Gryffindor 7th year), Katie Potter (Gryffindor 7th year), Caradoc Dearborn (Gryffindor 6th year), Marlene McKinnon (Gryffindor 6th year), Fabien and Gideon Prewett (Gryffindor 5th years), Dorcas Meadows (Ravenclaw 7th year), Benjy Fenwick (Ravenclaw 7th year), Sturgis Podmore (Ravenclaw 6th year), Emmeline Vance (Hufflepuff 6th year), Dedalus Diggle (Hufflepuff 6th year), Edgar Bones and (Hufflepuff 5th year).

Together they would make a difference.

LJLJ

**AN: Its short again, I know. But my life is very busy and I'm making daily updates. Hehe, good luck figuring out who are mystery story writer is. This chapter took a lot of googling to complete. The characters joining the "resistance" will later become most of the Order of Phoenix. **

Next on Life As You Knew It:

Severus Snape stared at Lily Evans. He couldn't suppress a smile as he watched her walk out of the room, her face alight because of some story she was telling. He wanted to deny the stories he heard about Lily Evans and James Potter but when Severus saw James sneak up behind Lily and give her a hug, which she accepted, Severus felt his heart break. His Lily was taken. By his worst enemy.

He caught up with her later, to try and talk some sense into her.

"Lily, you made me one promise while we were friends. Only one and you broke it." He said, staring down at her disapprovingly.

"And I didn't break it. James is my friend." Lily rolled her eyes and putting an emphasis on the word friend. "And besides, you made one promise to me, as well, which I know for a fact you broke."

Lily pulled up Severus's sleeve to reveal the dark mark. She turned on her heal and walked away. Saddened and disappointed in Severus.


	7. Alice and Sirius?

**AN: Reviews are always welcome. Please, please, please review. I beg of you. I really want to know the opinions of the people reading my story, so if you read this and liked it, or even hated it, please leave a review. Do it for Sirius? **

**I will not be updating until next Monday. I'm going away to a camp for a week and I leave tomorrow and there are no computers or phones allowed at this camp so… no updates… But I hope to see some reviews when I get back. Can I be hopeful… pweeze? **

**Also, thank you so much to those of you who have reviewed. I know I haven't said it, but it means a lot to me that you care enough to review. I sincerely hope you continue to review. I kinda want to know what you think of my character Katie. She's the only non cannon character, so I'm really hoping for some feedback. **

**Anyways, Lily and James are going to start fighting, again soon. But they'll get together, I'm promise. ;) **

_Previously on __Life As You Knew It:_

_A few days later and Lily was back on feet, horrified with the way she had acted. Though she missed her parents dearly, she knew she had to live. She quickly assumed her role as Head Girl and was surprised by how amazing James had done in her absence. _

_She attended the next meeting for the resistance that she helped create (she had refused to take full credit as it was Katie's speech that really helped promote their cause). Katie refused the position of leadership and handed if to James and Lily who were quite fit for the job. _

_The resistance included students from three of the four houses including: Remus Lupin (Gryffindor-7__th__ year), Peter Pettigrew (Gryffindor 7__th__ year), James Potter (Gryffindor 7__th__ year), Sirius Black (Gryffindor 7__th__ year), Alice Prewett (Gryffindor 7__th__ year), her cousin Molly Prewett (Gryffindor 7__th__ year), Lily Evans (Gryffindor 7__th__ year), Katie Potter (Gryffindor 7__th__ year), Caradoc Dearborn (Gryffindor 6__th__ year), Marlene McKinnon (Gryffindor 6__th__ year), Fabien and Gideon Prewett (Gryffindor 5__th__ years), Dorcas Meadows (Ravenclaw 7__th__ year), Benjy Fenwick (Ravenclaw 7__th__ year), Sturgis Podmore (Ravenclaw 6__th__ year), Emmeline Vance (Hufflepuff 6__th__ year), Dedalus Diggle (Hufflepuff 6__th__ year), Edgar Bones and (Hufflepuff 5__th__ year)._

_Together they would make a difference. _

LJLJ

"An individual dies young because he has completed his task. The being that has passed will be reminded of his task and that it was indeed his time. He will be offered a glance of the future of all those left behind, and he will find comfort and peace in this."

LJLJ

With evil on the rise, people begin to panic. I find it sad to say that few people think about coming together. And even fewer people voice their thoughts. It hard to say which is worse: living in fear alone or becoming what people fear with people who all hate you for some selfish and jealous reason.

Some wizards were beginning to side with "The Dark Lord" only because they thought his side would be the winning side. Some people began to side with "The Muggles" only to look good. And others were caught in the middle, fearing for their lives. Needless to say, all hell broke loose.

But those people, they weren't sincere and would most likely be the first to die. The people to be really feared were the people who believed every word the "Dark Lord" said. And then there were the people who disagreed with every word that this so called "Dark Lord" said. And they clashed. Friendships were ended because of this rift in agreement (the best example Gryffindor and Slytherin). Soon, there were rivals among everyone and people feared they'd be killed in their sleep… by the people they trust most.

So, I guess you could say that the world was dividing. Well, the Wizarding World, at least. And I wish there was some way to stop what happened next…

You all know Lily and James will fall for each other. It really isn't a secret. But it's a tragedy as much as it is an honor. Poor Lily and James, they die far too young for a cause they barely fought for. They are deemed heroes… but are they? They stood up for their son… And because of their love they created the one thing that could defeat "The Dark Lord" but they did everything for their own selfish reasons…

Are they heroes or just parents? I wouldn't know. All I know is their death may have been in vain. And then we'd truly have a tragedy, wouldn't we?

LJLJ

"Hey, Katie. Can I talk to you?" Benjy Fenwick asked.

Benjy Fenwick was always known as a lady's man. He was very attractive as well as smart and funny. So when Benjy asked to see Katie, she blushed and was more than a little excited.

"Of course." Katie answered, still a little pink.

Lily didn't know for sure, but she predicted they'd be a couple soon… But before she could ponder this for too long, James walked up behind her.

"Hello, love." He said his voice soft and sweet. It made Lily blush. And Lily Evans did not blush… at least not for JAMES POTTER.

"Potter." Lily said not letting him know about the thoughts about how damn sexy he was…

"So we're back to surnames, are we?" James said looking very hurt.

"I'm sorry, James. I just had a really long day." Lily found that she was sincerely sorry for hurting James. It was almost like hurting him hurt her. It really made no sense…

"It's okay. So anyways, I'm heading down to lunch, want to join me?" James changed the subject seeing confliction and confusion in her eyes. Those beautiful big green eyes…

Lily laughed and looped her arm through James as they headed down together. Neither of them noticed they were being jealously watched by Severus Snape.

LJLJ

Severus Snape was never a popular boy. In fact, he really only had friends because he believed the things that "The Dark Lord" said. And quite frankly, he wasn't sure if he really believed him, really. In all honestly, he just wanted to fit in and because of his blood rank (everyone thought he was a pureblood but he was really a halfblood), he was accepted and treated with respect.

He had one best friend… but that was a long time ago. And Lily obviously didn't need him anymore. He had always secretly hoped that joining the Death Eaters would make him look powerful; make him look cool. But really, it had just made Lily Evans hate him.

Lily, with her beautiful green eyes and deep, red hair, how anyone could not love her, Severus didn't know. No, he didn't love her. And she didn't love him. That's just how it is. He couldn't… shouldn't love a mudblood… but he always had.

He could remember the day he met Lily. She was the first witch he'd ever met, besides his mother. And since his father hated magic (he really hated everyone, really), Severus wasn't allowed to meet the children of his mother's friends… So Lily was all he had.

At first, she didn't believe him, but then as time went on, she realized he was right. And they had instantly became friends. But that friendship is gone… all because of bloody Potter and his own dumb beliefs and his attempts to get Lily to love him.

He walked downstairs to get something to eat. And he found THEM, sitting and laughing together. But soon she was joined by Katie, and they started joking and hugging… and screaming? They were obviously excited about something… And Potter looked mad. That's always a plus, right?

He ate his lunch in peace, thinking about what could have been with Lily Evans. And knowing that the what if's were created by himself. He only had himself to blame. It hurt Severus, a lot. He missed Lily like crazy and he feared that one day, he'd have to take her life… But he wouldn't be able to do that and then he'd have to choose between the love of his life and the man responsible for finding him friends. And who could decide between that?

Severus Snape stared at Lily Evans. He couldn't suppress a smile as he watched her walk out of the room, her face alight because of some story she was telling. He wanted to deny the stories he heard about Lily Evans and James Potter but when Severus saw James sneak up behind Lily and give her a hug, which she accepted, Severus felt his heart break. His Lily was taken. By his worst enemy.

He caught up with her later, to try and talk some sense into her.

"Lily, you made me one promise while we were friends. Only one and you broke it." He said, staring down at her disapprovingly.

"And I didn't break it. James is my friend." Lily rolled her eyes and putting an emphasis on the word friend. "And besides, you made one promise to me, as well, which I know for a fact you broke."

Lily pulled up Severus's sleeve to reveal the dark mark. She turned on her heal and walked away. Saddened and disappointed in Severus.

LJLJ

"I can't bloody believe him. That git! I mean, it's bad enough the things he does on a daily basis, but then he has to tell me and remind me what I HAVE TO DO? He's already a prick. I honestly didn't think he could get any worse. Honestly." Lily ranted, trying to vent all of her anger and frustration and feelings of betrayal out of her system.

"What did my brother do this time?" Katie asked, looking slightly bored.

"Yeah, James really isn't that bad, Lils." Added Molly hoping that she'd give him a shot. It was bad enough, that she had rejected him on a daily basis, but Molly knew he actually loved her, and it made her sad just thinking about how hurt he must be. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

"Yeah, I mean, Sirius is totally worse." Alice mentioned, color flooding to her cheeks.

"Oh, shut up, Al, the only reason Sirius is brought in to this conversation is because you have had a crush on him for years." Lily laughed.

"I have NOT!" She said, blushing a nice deep shade of red. "It has only been eight months."

"The fact that you know exactly how long you have liked him is a little sad." Katie murmured. "Besides, I've lived with him; he's really not that bad. But he's also not… um… he lacks manners. There, that's a good way to put it, right Lils?"

"That was putting it nicely, Kate."

"Anyways, if you weren't ranting about James then who are you mad at?" Alice asked, subtly changing the subject.

"Severus Snape." There was a gasp, an "ewww", and a laugh when Lily said this. She then proceeded to tell everyone the story.

Katie and Molly had to leave to go to classes but Lily and Alice had a free period.

The two without classes decided to stay up in the dorm room and talk since they felt the need to catch up.

"Lily," Alice began to confess. "I really like Sirius. But I honestly don't think he knows I exist."

"Oh, no, he knows you exist." Lily joked with a grin.

"Oh, thanks that made me feel sooo much better."

"Well, why don't you try to make him jealous?" Lily asked as a thought occurred to her. "You could use Frank; he's always looking at you like… like… like the way I sometimes catch James looking at me."

"Use Frank?" Alice was unsure about this whole thing.

"Yeah, it'll all work out great." Lily said with a smile, knowing that Alice would soon fall for Frank instead of Sirius, who wasn't at all right for Alice. "I'll set it all up." And with that, everything was settled."


	8. Tangled web of lies and assumptions

**AN: Reviews are always welcome. Please, please, please review. I beg of you. I really want to know the opinions of the people reading my story, so if you read this and liked it, or even hated it, please leave a review. Do it for Sirius? **

**Also, thank you so much to those of you who have reviewed. I know I haven't said it, but it means a lot to me that you care enough to review. I sincerely hope you continue to review. I kinda want to know what you think of my character Katie. She's the only non cannon character, so I'm really hoping for some feedback. **

**Okay, so I have two comments that I have to make just to clear things up because people asked about them. One: as to why Molly is one of Lily's best friends/roommates when she's already supposed to have children, is simply because I'm dumb and did not know that. So, um… sorry about that but it's kind of too late to fix, so although it may annoy you, I can't change it without having to completely change the whole story and rewrite a new character, which will be hard. Two: As to why I made Alice have a crush on Sirius, it's actually quite simply. We all have crushes before we find "the one" and Sirius was supposed to be extremely good looking, popular, smart, funny, and a good friend. She's not going to end up with Sirius (obviously, because there needs to be a Neville (: ). So it's really just a crush. **

_Previously on __Life As You Knew It:_

"_Lily," Alice began to confess. "I really like Sirius. But I honestly don't think he knows I exist." _

"_Oh, no, he knows you exist." Lily joked with a grin._

"_Oh, thanks that made me feel sooo much better." _

"_Well, why don't you try to make him jealous?" Lily asked as a thought occurred to her. "You could use Frank; he's always looking at you like… like… like the way I sometimes catch James looking at me." _

"_Use Frank?" Alice was unsure about this whole thing. _

"_Yeah, it'll all work out great." Lily said with a smile, knowing that Alice would soon fall for Frank instead of Sirius, who wasn't at all right for Alice. "I'll set it all up." And with that, everything was settled._

LJLJ

"If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good, and the very gentle, and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too, but there will be no special hurry."  
-Ernest Hemingway

LJLJ

Again I speak to you all, for now the days grow black, and I fear my story will never be finished, this so wonderfully bittersweet story. And that alone, is causing me to finish this as quickly as possible. For though I do not wish to recollect all of this horrible past, I know that it is needed to heard. The world needs to know, for my sake and for there's.

With all the memories swirling nonstop, I remember something my father told me. They were the only true and kind words that ever escaped his mouth. He said, "Son, on day, you'll understand. The only real story is a bittersweet one. The only story worth living is something so beautiful it won't work out in the end. It's not a happy world we live in, and once you find your 'only one', you'll find out something incredibly wrong with them but you'll deal with it because you have to. You'll never get you're happy ending. In truth, we are all Romeo or Juliet in the end and the reason die is for our love."

It never made sense to me back then, my father being… my father. But in the end I realized it, when I saw the grave where Lily and James lay. They loved each other but they didn't get their happy ending. They died for love; their love for each other and for their son. But, they're gone and it's still a tragedy. Two lives for one.

I'm telling this, you see, because I know you hate me. But I also know, that like theirs', my story is bittersweet, as well.

LJLJ

Here is the point in time, where I tell you what's going on in the world during our story. Lord Voldomort is killing, crushing, taking, haunting, hunting, tutoring, murdering, destroying, and devastating lives. But to him, it all means nothing. Nothing. Not number, not a name. Just a goal. That he's accomplished. Not even an important goal; not even a challenging one. Just a laugh, a slap on the back; a job well done.

He slips through the shadows, once again. This time, looking for new recruits. You see, he knows talent well, and when that talent is so painfully obvious, he knows how to ignore things. How to overlook them and smudge the details. Nothing matter but his goal. He wants to be in control.

There a three people he's interested in: two blood traitors and a mudblood. Katie, James, and Lily were sought after. Their amazing leadership was a key factor, their confidence, their spirit, their talent, and their stubbornness were also tributes to "The Dark Lord's" new found obsession with having them serve him.

He also wanted power. He knew, that if they joined, Black would too and maybe some more of their friends. You see, if he had them under his control, along with the brilliant minds he already had, he'd have the most power and clever witches and wizards serving him. Thus, there'd be no newfound fighters. No new talent would be joining the enemy. He'd be able to win easier.

It was really a win-win… for him. It's too bad, though. For "The Dark Lord" was mistaken. For the Potters' and Lily would never join him. They had morals and ethics, you see. They would not follow blindly. They'd rather face death right in the eye. Unfortunately, they may just have to…

LJLJ

"So many attacks, so little people resisting!" Sirius yelled, his grey eyes dangerously narrowed, his face red, and his hands clenched.

He looked scary, and fierce a side of him that Lily had never seen. Lily knew a little about Sirius's past, enough to make her shiver when the Black family was spoken about and she knew Sirius ran away from home, but she always figured that it was out of rebellion that Sirius choose the side he was one. But seeing his face, looking at him now, she knew she'd been the biggest bitch in the world. He fought and rebelled because he knew it was wrong. Because he wanted to make a difference. This had nothing to do with his parents or rebelling. It had to do with how he felt about the life he was on before.

Lily walked up to Sirius, slowly, and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him. He was still mad, and his body went rigid but when he looked down and saw Lily, he smiled.

Sirius had always liked Lily. He hadn't always liked the way she treated James but she didn't understand him, really. The fact that she was here, comforting him (or at least trying to), showed how much they'd all changed. It was scary, really. The marauders and Lily were friends, good ones. Or good enough friends to notice they were upset and comfort them.

This change was good and bad. They were all getting along, which was good. But it was the world and Lord Voldomort that had caused them to change. It was the world darkening, that caused James and Sirius to grow up.

"Whatcha doing Lily?" Sirius asked, slightly bemused.

"You looked like you needed a friend. You were there for me, so I'm here for you." She grinned at him and her smile almost matched the one that James sometimes made…

"Thanks, Lily-flower. I really, did need a friend." He returned her grin and the two of them stayed like that for awhile, letting themselves support each other.

It was by no means a romantic gesture; it was far from it. But when James walked in and saw his best friend and the girl he loved in a compromising position (really it was just a hug), needless to say, he was very angry. He stood there for a moment, fuming and watching.

"We should probably go before James sees us." Sirius whispered knowing that James would turn an innocent hug into something more than it was.

"Oh, Merlin. Could you imagine his face?" Lily said, wincing as she said it.

James walked back out the way he came, suddenly no longer angry, just broken.

Sirius and Lily broke apart their comforting hug, which had bonded them in a way that no one could understand but themselves and took off their separate ways.

LJLJ

"Hey! Frank! Wait up!" Lily yelled, running after him.

"Hey, Lils, what's up?"

"Oh, you know the usual. Just hanging around, classes, chasing you down three corridors, and studying. You?" Lily's reply was slightly sarcastic but it made her seventh year friend, Frank Longbottom smile.

"Not much. Is there a reason you were chasing me down three corridors?" Frank asked, knowing already he'd have to play the guessing game.

"Yes…"

"And that would be?" Frank said. He sighed, because he knew this was about Alice. That's what they usually talked about. But at the moment, he didn't want to hear about Alice. She didn't like him, he could accept that… except, he couldn't.

"Guess." Lily grinned.

"Alice?"

"Nope, Sirius Black." Lily said, still smiling.

"Sirius Black?" Frank repeated, confused.

"Yup, Alice likes Sirius." Lily said brightly.

"Okay…" Frank said, dejectedly, beginning to walk away.

"Hey, wait. There's more." Frank didn't want to hear this, but he turned around anyway. "Sirius doesn't like Alice. I'm not sure who he likes, though I believe I could find out… Anyways, she wants Sirius to notice her, but he already notices her and only thinks of her as a friend. So I suggested she make him jealous… with you!" Lily was excited.

"And I'm happy about this because…"

"Because she'll date you, realize that Sirius is all wrong for her, and fall in love with you." Lily spelled out, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"She won't be dating me; she'll be pretending to date me, Lily. And not even because she likes me but because she likes Black." The hurt and rejected in Frank's eyes showed plainly and Lily began to regret telling Frank about this particular part in her plan.

"It's better than nothing, Frank. This may be your only chance with her." Lily looked him straight in the eye, hating to bring the cold, hard truth into this. "I'll let you decide."

Lily began to walk away, knowing she already had him trapped too tight in her little web for him to say no to her offer.

"Lily! I'll do it!" Frank called after her.

Lily smiled a smug smile and continued walking, not even bothering to look back.

LJLJ

Sirius was looking for James, whom he hadn't seen for more than three hours. He was currently checking all of the secret passage ways. It was nerve wracking because he didn't have the map, James did.

"Prongs?" He called out into the darkness.

There was no answer so Sirius continued down the hallway, trying and failing to no avail.

LJLJ

Meanwhile, James was sitting on his bed, staring at the map, knowing that this hiding place would only last so long, before he had to move to another one.

James had gone from dejected, to angry, to bitter, to hateful, to numb. Right now, he was feeling a little bit of each, which may very well be a deadly combination. Time was passing before James's eyes, but he didn't care. He saw Sirius, Katie, and Lily searching frantically throughout the school. He wondered why the even bothered. Sirius and Lily. Lily and Sirius. Those goddamned lying little cheats.

Of course, James knew they hadn't really cheated because James and Lily weren't really together… But it had felt like he was finally close to his goal. He was finally going to show Lily Evans that he wasn't so bad… and then his best friend in the whole fucking world, stole her away from him.

He was mad now, and he was vengeful. Why should Sirius and Lily have so much fun? He was perfectly capable of being happy without them. Yeah, that's right. James Potter did not need them. James Potter did not need Sirius Black or Lily Evans.

So James went downstairs and waited for his REAL friends to come find him.

LJLJ

After they found her brother, Katie went and found Benjy. She was nervous about their newfound relationship. Her brother didn't approve and Benjy was a known heartbreaker. She really didn't know how this was ever going to work. But that didn't mean she wasn't going to try.

"Hey." Benjy said, leaning in to kiss her.

When they broke the kiss they began strolling around, eventually making their way towards the lake. Everything was pleasant until James came to find her.

"Katie!" He said running to her, and breaking through the link that Katie and Benjy's hands had made.

"Yes?" She said slightly annoyed.

"Can you tell your bitch of a friend that I need my sweater back?" James had no idea why he suddenly needed that sweater back and he knew is that she couldn't have it. Why did Lily always take things that were James's. His heart, his sweater, his dignity, his best friend, his sister… It wasn't fair. And she could no longer have is sweater.

"Ummm… Who am I telling this to?" James had always like Katie's friends… She didn't understand who she was supposed to convey this message to. She didn't know anyone who had James's sweater except for… "LILY?"

James nodded. His face red and his eyes conveyed hurt. "She can't have it. I want it back. NOW!"

"Whoa, what happened?"

"Nothing." James said stubbornly.

"Obviously it's something because before you were jumping for joy that Lily was wearing YOUR cloths. So you better spill or I'm making you deliver your own freaking messages."

"Sirius, Lily. Together. Happy. Couple." It was almost incoherent but Katie knew her brother well and it really wasn't that hard to figure out.

"LILY AND SIRIUS? Are you sure? She hasn't said anything about it." Katie said puzzled.

James gave her a look that clearly said you-don't-believe-me-well-then-fine-side-with-her and walked away.

LJLJ

**An: So that's it for today, folks. This was focusing more on relationships… and fights but the next chapter is going to be at hogsmead and it'll be intense, I promise. **

**REVIEW please! **

_Next on Life As You Knew It:_

"_You're with Sirius?" Alice shrieked, hearing Katie and Lily's conversation. "So what, you just make me use Frank, who's an amazing guy, by the way, for your own selfish reasons?" _

"_I'm not with Sirius, Al. And you are better off with Frank. You said yourself, that he's an amazing guy." _

_Just then Sirius decided to walk by. "Morning ladies." _

"_Sirius!" They all shrieked. _

_At once they all said: "Tell them we aren't together!" "How could you do that to James?" "You and Lily? Why won't you notice me." _

_Sirius looked at them and began to back away. "Lily and I aren't together." _

_Just then, men in black, hooded capes and masks closed in on them. _


	9. Taking hostages

**AN: Thank you so much to those of you who have reviewed. I know I haven't said it, but it means a lot to me that you care enough to review. I sincerely hope you continue to review. I kinda want to know what you think of my character Katie. She's the only non cannon character, so I'm really hoping for some feedback. **

**Okay, so I have two comments that I have to make just to clear things up because people asked about them. One: as to why Molly is one of Lily's best friends/roommates when she's already supposed to have children, is simply because I'm dumb and did not know that. So, um… sorry about that but it's kind of too late to fix, so although it may annoy you, I can't change it without having to completely change the whole story and rewrite a new character, which will be hard. Two: As to why I made Alice have a crush on Sirius, it's actually quite simply. We all have crushes before we find "the one" and Sirius was supposed to be extremely good looking, popular, smart, funny, and a good friend. She's not going to end up with Sirius (obviously, because there needs to be a Neville (: ). So it's really just a crush. **

_Previously on __Life As You Knew It:_

_James nodded. His face red and his eyes conveyed hurt. "She can't have it. I want it back. NOW!" _

"_Whoa, what happened?" _

"_Nothing." James said stubbornly. _

"_Obviously it's something because before you were jumping for joy that Lily was wearing YOUR cloths. So you better spill or I'm making you deliver your own freaking messages." _

"_Sirius, Lily. Together. Happy. Couple." It was almost incoherent but Katie knew her brother well and it really wasn't that hard to figure out. _

"_LILY AND SIRIUS? Are you sure? She hasn't said anything about it." Katie said puzzled. _

_James gave her a look that clearly said you-don't-believe-me-well-then-fine-side-with-her and walked away. _

LJLJ

When things fall apart, don't stop it. Wait until everything is broken and then clean up the mess. Otherwise you'll have to clean up the same mess multiple times. And who wants that?

LJLJ

The "Dark Lord" had plans. He had dark plans. And he didn't care how he'd accomplish them. Even if it meant… Well, you'll see.

LJLJ

Dark as light and light as night. That's how Katie would describe Lily and James. They hate each other one day, the next they all lovey-dovey, and the next one hates the other because he thinks that she's dating his best friend (which Katie still didn't know the truth about).

Ugh. It was official; Katie need new friends, preferably people without drama twenty/four/seven. Katie sighed. She knew she was being unfair. Really, it wasn't fair to be this mean to them. It was really a misunderstanding… But that doesn't change the fact that Lily's up in her dorm ranting about her dumb git of a brother and that James is avoiding both Lily AND Sirius, leaving Katie to deal with James's problems… and Lily's problems… and Sirius's, too.

Katie was SUPPOSED to be studding but she was failing. With all the drama going on, it was hard focus on anything for too long. And with the Hogsmead trip tomorrow, she wasn't going to finish her potions essay.

"Lily, you HAVE to help me finish this goddamn essay." Katie said, looking up from the spot on her bed. Her hazel eyes were begging and Lily knew that she really needed help.

"Okay." Lily then went into a complex and detailed description of the potion, which Katie listened to and occasionally added a sentence or two to her paper. After about fifteen minutes of this, Katie found she was done and had exceeded the requirement. And she was pleased about the turnout, which was a first.

"I can't wait to turn this in to Professor Slughorn. He'll be so proud. He's always lecturing me about how well I could do!" Katie exclaimed, obviously excited.

"I'm happy for you." Lily mumbled her voice quiet and soft. She wasn't really listening, she was thinking about J-Potter.

She shook her head. "Hey, Kate, I left my book in the common room. Do you mind coming with me?"

Lily wasn't the kind of person who needed someone with her at all times. She wasn't like some of those girls who needed their best friend at their hip every second. The only reason she had asked Katie to come with her was just in case Potter was there. She didn't even know what happened between them. All she remembered was the horrible fight…

_Lily was studying on her bed wearing James's sweater when Katie walked in. Lily glanced at her and then did a double take. Katie was wearing a look of… anger? Katie was never angry. She was always the calm one, the one who settled fights. She was the mediator. So what the hell had happened? _

"_James would like his sweater back, Lily." She said curtly. _

"_Oh. Okay." Lily could practically feel the hurt in her eyes as she looked upon her best friend. _

"_So you honestly didn't do anything?" Katie asked, her eyes searching Lily's. _

"_No… I d-don't think so. Why is James mad?" Katie shook her head to signal she wasn't getting in the middle of this. But how could she not be in the middle of a fight between her best friend and her twin brother? _

"_You talk to him." Katie sighed, exasperated. "And take the sweater with you." _

_Lily walked down the stairs, still wearing James's sweater. He was waiting at the bottom, quite clearly expecting to see Katie. He looked surprised, then hurt, then angry to see Lily standing in front of me. _

"_Give it back." He snarled, rage pouring out of every part of his body. He no longer looked like the sweet, caring James that Lily had gotten used to. He looked mean, like he did when Snape did something to piss him off. But his anger wasn't directed at Snape; it was directed at Lily. And Lily had no idea why. _

"_James, what's wrong?" Lily said slowly, carefully. _

"_You know damn well, Evans." James shouted, making Lily wince at the use of sir names and the volume. "You thought you could keep your little secret, didn't you? Thought I'd never find out, huh? You lead me on and FOR WHAT? So you can laugh in my face? Am I some toy to you, Evans? I spent years pining after you. Years! And you've treated me like shit. And I've laughed it off. I was there for you. I WAS THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU HAD NO ONE ELSE! You turned into a freaking zombie and I stilled cared. You told me you'd love me when all hell froze over. Well, I guess I finally figured it out, Evans. Hell's never going to freeze over." He voice was dangerously low and he didn't even attempt to hide the pain in his voice. _

"_James, I don't know what you're talking about. Can we just talk about this?" Lily begged. She couldn't lose James. _

"_Yeah, Evans. When hell freezes over." With that he walked up the stairs to his dorm, Lily assumed. A few seconds later and there was a slam. _

"Earth to Lily. LILY!" Alice was waving a piece of parchment (her unfinished charms essay) in front of Lily's face.

"Sorry. I just zoned out for a moment." Alice, Katie, and Molly were staring at her waiting for an explanation, which she normally would have given.

"Anyways, I'm off to bed. Hogsmead tomorrow, eh?"

LJLJ

"Sugar quill?" Katie asked Lily. They were in Honeydukes and Lily couldn't decide what kind of candy she wanted.

"No, I have three in the dorm already." Lily sighed, not really thinking about candy.

"Hmm… Chocolate frog?" Katie asked, desperate for something other than candy shopping.

"Yeah." Lily said, barely paying attention. She grabbed the chocolate frogs, the sugar quills, and some other random candy including some vampire specialties.

Katie was going out of her mind. Lily and Katie had spent three hours together but they had barely talked. They did everything together and when spoken to they finished each other's sentences, just like a normal day but they weren't really talking. They weren't looking each other in the eye and it was clear the two girls were fighting… they just didn't want to admit it… even to themselves.

"Okay. I've had it. Are you with Sirius or not?" Katie demanded.

Just as Katie said that, Alice walked by and accidently dropped a gallon, causing her to bend over and get it.

"Wait, you think Sirius and I are together?" But all Alice hear was "Sirius and I are together."

"You're with Sirius?" Alice shrieked, hearing Katie and Lily's conversation. "So what, you just make me use Frank, who's an amazing guy, by the way, for your own selfish reasons?"

"I'm not with Sirius, Al. And you are better off with Frank. You said yourself, that he's an amazing guy."

Just then Sirius decided to walk by. "Morning ladies."

"Sirius!" They all shrieked.

At once they all said: "Tell them we aren't together!" "How could you do that to James?" "You and Lily? Why won't you notice me?"

Sirius looked at them and began to back away. "Lily and I aren't together." Lily noticed that Sirius had a black eye… and she realized that it was her fault that Sirius and James were fighting.

Just then, men in black, hooded capes and masks closed in on them.

LJLJ

"So why aren't you talking to Lily… Or Sirius?" Remus asked James for the fifth time since they'd entered The Three Broomsticks.

"Sirius and Lily. That's sounds cute, don't you think? I mean, if James weren't infatuated with her, Sirius would actually be good for Lily." Peter said, without very much tact.

"Even if I am infatuated with her." James growled and while Peter didn't catch on, Remus did.

"Oh, Merlin. Just when I thought all the drama that could possible take place had taken place, the next school scandal presents itself." Remus sighed. He knew they'd make him chose, Sirius and James… And he didn't know which side he could take.

"3 firewhiskeys." James told the bartender.

"James Potter, are you three over age? And where's Sirius?" The tall curvy woman questioned.

"Why yes, maim, we are. And Merlin only knows where Black is." If the bartender noticed the hostility James directed towards his best friend, she didn't let it show. She simply handed them their drinks, becoming lost to her own thoughts.

"THEY'VE COME! DEATH EATERS. AND THEY'VE TAKEN HOSTAGES." A voice screamed. Remus and James looked at each other, grabbed their wands and ran out to try and help.

But they were too late. They only saw a flash of red hair and a faint scream before the death eaters and their hostages were gone.

**AN: How bout that for intense? Review? **


	10. What Katie wanted

**AN: Thank you so much to those of you who have reviewed. I know I haven't said it, but it means a lot to me that you care enough to review. I sincerely hope you continue to review. I kinda want to know what you think of my character Katie. She's the only non cannon character, so I'm really hoping for some feedback. **

**Thank you so much to Smile Pass It On for reviewing for last chapter. **

_Previously on __Life As You Knew It:_

"_3 firewhiskeys." James told the bartender. _

"_James Potter, are you three over age? And where's Sirius?" The tall curvy woman questioned. _

"_Why yes, maim, we are. And Merlin only knows where Black is." If the bartender noticed the hostility James directed towards his best friend, she didn't let it show. She simply handed them their drinks, becoming lost to her own thoughts. _

"_THEY'VE COME! DEATH EATERS. AND THEY'VE TAKEN HOSTAGES." A voice screamed. Remus and James looked at each other, grabbed their wands and ran out to try and help. _

_But they were too late. They only saw a flash of red hair and a faint scream before the death eaters and their hostages were gone. _

LJLJ

It's hard to explain this part of the story. Very few people know exactly what happened while Lily and her friends were taken by Lord Voldomort. So few people, in fact, that even I had to fight to find this particular memory. Hopefully what I can tell you will suffice.

Lily Evans was a brave witch. She was strong and determined to. And like James, she would rather die than join Voldomort. Unfortunately, lives will be taken and even our most favorite characters will fall.

LJLJ

"Join me, you silly girl. I'm offering you protection and a place! You'd be nothing without me, mudblood." Said a man with beady eyes and a snake-like appearance.

Lord Voldomort had long since given up talking nicely to this witch. She was determined to refuse her position. The position he'd gone out of his way to give her! She had thoroughly offended and pissed off the "Dark Lord".

And she wasn't the only one. First it was Potter. She was a pureblood, he expected the persuasion to take no more than five minutes, but alas she was just as stubborn. No matter how much torture, no matter how much pain he put her through, Katie Potter kept refusing. "You'll burn in hell for this shit." Over and over again, Katie Potter hit "The Darkest Lord" in his weak spot: death.

Sirius Black, who came from a respectable family, too, also refused bluntly, not at all concerned about his family name or his life.

Alice Prewett, another pureblood, refused as well! This was pointless. Lord Voldomort needed to think quickly. Where was the power? Where was the fear? Those damn Gryffindors and the fucking bravery; they're ruining Lord Voldomort's plan. And that just won't do. You see, Lord Voldomort had a rule: if someone stands in his way he has two options, to kill them or to make them join him. He was sorry to waste so much talent and blood (minus Lily's), but an example had to be made. Join or die.

LJLJ

"You will not go looking for them." Dumbledore said, for the thousandth time that night.

He was currently talking to James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Frank Longbottom. He had already told these seven words to countless other students such as Mary McDonald, Marlene McKinnon, The Prewett brothers, Arthur Weasley, Molly Prewett, Benjy Fenwick, Severus Snape (which Dumbledore was still confused about—which was a first), and many others.

But Dumbledore knew this time was going to be the hardest. James Potter was the most persistent man Dumbledore ever knew. He was also one of the most loyal and dedicated men he knew. And James had his best friend, his sister, his… future girlfriend (AN: we all knew that Dumbledore knew it was going to happen), and a good friend taken from him. Dumbledore also knew that his attempts were in vain. He knew the four people (along with some of the others) would be leaving the castle tonight in an attempt to form a rescue party.

"But sir, you are being completely unreasonable! They could be killed! They could be tortured. I don't think you understand this is Katie, Sirius, Lily, and Alice we're talking about! They're my family! How can you tell me that I just have to sit here and do nothing? How can you sit there and tell me there's nothing I can do? If someone doesn't help them soon, I reckon they'll be dead by sundown!" James's outburst was expected and very emotion. He had tried to hide his shaking voice and watering eyes but Dumbledore had seen them.

"James, if I could let you go, I would." Dumbledore replied sadly. "And I have the best aurors on the job as we speak. Moody being one of them."

"Mad-eye-Moody?" Frank asked. "My dad used to work with him. Said he was bloody insane! That's who you entrust to find our loved ones!"

"He might be… crazy, but I've heard he's the best damn Auror around." Remus added. He was scared shitless for Lily, Sirius, Katie, and Alice and he'd go with James if he decided to play rescue mission but he knew it wasn't the smartest idea they'd ever had.

"Constant vigilance." Peter added, repeating what his dad always said to him (a habit he'd picked up from Moody himself).

"I must ask you not to go looking for them." Dumbledore said his voice firm. "And I hope that you will listen to my wishes for the outcome of such a search party will most likely end in an unfortunate way."

But they all knew that James and his friends would be going, anyway.

LJLJ

Lord Voldomort, evil and cruel, knew that the best way to get a response from anyone was to take away a girl first. He had considered taking Lily, she was a mudblood, after all, but she was much too powerful and he needed her enough to look past her blood. He thought about taking Alice, as well, but her blood and talent prevented him from such a rash action. Which left Katie Potter at his mercy. Her blood was pure as pure could be but she was shy and quiet. A peacemaker. And what the hell did lord Voldomort need with a peacemaker? Nothing. She'd be the one to go.

He walked into the dungeon where his four prisoners were being held. Sirius looked at him defiantly, earning him immense pain as a curse so evil, so unforgivable was shot his way. Lily, on the other hand, didn't bother to look at him. Katie's hand trembled, but she looked him in the eyes and glared. Alice stared straight ahead, praying for any ray of home.

"Katie Potter." Voldomort said softly. "Stand up, girl."

She did as she was told. Wandless, what choice did she have?

"I'll make you a deal. You and I are going to have a duel." He threw Katie her wand, and laughed as she fumbled with it. "If I win, you die. If you win, you're are all free to go."

Katie had no choice but to accept as he was already throwing a curse her way. Katie barely had time to put a shield charm up. They fought interesting battle. Lord Voldomort was throwing lazy curses, and Katie was trying her best to disarm him.

From the sidelines, Lily, Sirius, and Alice watched with fear. They all knew what was going to happen. Lily closed her eyes as tears threatened to escape her eyes. Alice rocked back and forth, giving up all hope. Sirius jumped up, and grabbed Katie's wand, dueling Voldomort by himself.

"Stupid boy! This isn't your battle. No one likes a hero." Hissed Voldomort, his eyes filled with unmasked furry.

"Sirius, just give me back the wand." Katie begged. She'd rather die than watch Sirius or the others die.

"Too late, silly girl." Voldomort laughed. It was a bone chilling, evil laugh. "He's already decided for you. You're life is mine."

There was a green flash of light. Katie Potter would be no more.

Just then, James's rescue team entered the room. Mary McDonald, Marlene McKinnon, The Prewett brothers, Arthur Weasley, Molly Prewett, Benjy Fenwick, James Potter, Frank Longbottom, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew were standing before him, wands drawn.

There were flashes and sparks from all over but eventually, they managed to lock Voldomort in his own cell and appertate back to Hogsmead and run back to the school.

LJLJ

James stood, eyes focused on a casket, where his sister lay. He was crying, he wasn't even pretending that he wasn't. He had lost his other half, his twin. And he had no idea what he was going to do.

He felt soft arms wrap themselves around his stomach. He turned to see his comforter. And there stood Lily Evans. He couldn't muster up the strength to be angry at her anymore and he couldn't deny the fact that it felt good, her arms around him.

"James, it's gonna be okay." Lily knew she was lying; she had no idea how anything was ever going to be okay again. They'd just lost someone so important, someone so amazing, someone so special, someone they both loved.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter walked up behind them, their eyes glistening with tears. Katie and James were their only joy in life, and now, they'd lost one of them. They looked at Lily, who'd lost her best friend and struggling past tears herself, who was doing her best to comfort both James and Sirius. She was patting Sirius's hand and the two were communicating something through their eyes. James on the other hand, was wrapped inside Lily's embrace, leaning his full weight on her.

"I'm very sorry for your lost, Mr. and Mrs. Potter." Lily said, politely, not letting go of James or Sirius.

"It was your lost, too, dear." Mrs. Potter reminded her.

Lily face turned into a look of guilt, as did Sirius. They both blamed themselves for Katie's death. Mrs. Potter noticed, but didn't know what to say. The only person to blame was Lord Voldomort.

LJLJ

Later on that day, they all sat in the common room, staring blankly at one other hoping to find comfort in each other.

"I never told her…" Sirius trailed off, his voice sounded broken.

"Never told her what?" Came Lily's soft and comforting voice.

"That I loved her." Lily, James, Alice, Mary, Molly, and Marlene just stared at Sirius, willing him to continue. Remus, Frank, and Peter just stared at the ground already knowing where this was heading. "She's always been so kind to me. She was there for me every time something fell apart, she cared and cried for me when I was too stubborn. Not that you didn't, mate." Sirius said, looking at James. "But you were always so infatuated with Lily that I knew my attentions wouldn't be wanted…" Sirius attempted to joke, but his voice sounded too far away and too full of pain to be considered even remotely funny.

James gave a bitter laugh. "You didn't love Katie. Don't lie to me. I know."

"Know what, mate?"

"About you and Lily." James said in bored tone but his eyes conveyed pain and hurt.

"Where the bloody hell did you all get that idea!" Sirius burst out. "I love Lily, yes, but only like a sister. She's an amazing person, no doubt, and a very talented witch and I won't deny that she's quite beautiful but from the moment I saw the way you looked at her, I knew she was off limits. So I don't know where you and Katie… and Alice got this bloody idea but it. Is. Not. True."

"But I saw you two! You were holding each other and talking about I'd react if I saw you guys!"

"Well I reckon we were right in saying so. I was comforting Sirius, James. He needed a friend. And he did the same thing for me. Sirius is a damn good friend and he'd never do that to you. Did it ever cross you mind that maybe you should talk to us? And Merlin, that's what you were bloody screaming at me for! You didn't think James! Do you know how much pain that put me through? Huh? If you weren't so bloody stupid none of this would have ever happened." Lily took a deep breath and continued in a dangerously low voice. "Do you know the hell I went through waiting and hoping you'd give me the time of day? Do you-"

"Yeah, I do actually!" James sat up and leaned towards Lily, his face red. "I spent six years with that hope, that pain. Six bloody years of loving you, Lily! Six years of listening to you rant how you'd rather date the bloody giant squid! So don't you dare," James voice was cracking with anger and emotion. "even begin to tell me you know what it feels like."

"Oh, you two are bloody idiots. Actually, just you Lily!" Marlene cut in, getting very annoyed at the pointless banter which was causing a very big scene as everyone currently had their eyes fixed on Lily and James, who couldn't even keep from fighting after Katie's death. "You love him, so do us all a favor and just bloody admit it. Katie wanted you to, you know. She told me about it. One day we were in… our meeting place, and she looked like she really needed someone to talk to. So we talked. And she told me everything. How you two never stopped fighting and how it killed her to be in the middle. How James always acted like a bloody git in front of her and how Lily was so cruel to him when it was obvious James only wanted to please and impress her. But she knew Lily! No matter if you couldn't even admit it to yourself, she knew. She saw the way your eyes followed James out of the room, she heard how passionate he made you, she could see how mad you got if you ever saw him with another girl, and she saw how you reacted when he got close. She always knew Lily, years before you even knew, Katie knew. And it was her personal goal to bring you two together. So get the fuck over your pride, Lily and do the only thing that Katie ever wanted to see. Admit it!"

"W-W-What?" Lily stuttered, her eyes wide. "I-I-I…" But she couldn't say it. She couldn't say that she didn't love James. She looked at his face, his beautiful face. It was broken, so beaten, and so hopeful. She wanted to kiss him and hold him and hug him. She wanted to be the one that fixed him. But she was supposed to hate him… but she didn't. And it scared her.

James closed all distance between Lily and himself. His mouth was only centimeters away from hers and he spoke softly and carefully. "Is that true, Lily?"

Lily's eyes went even wider, which she didn't know was even possible. She stared into his eyes, which were really rather stunning. She didn't speak; she was lost way too deep in his eyes. She didn't remember even thinking about it beforehand, all she knew is suddenly she closed the distance and kissed James Potter with all the anger, pain, and fright she had in her.

At first, James had no idea how to respond. He was looking for a spoken answer; but soon he found himself joining her in this emotional kiss. It was sweet and soft but… harsh and bitter at the same time.

Suddenly Lily pulled herself away and made a mad dash for her dorm. Marlene sighed. "I'll go get her." And she too disappeared up the stairs.

**AN: Oh my god! This was my favorite and least favorite chapter all rolled into one. I'd just like to say that I'm terribly sorry I had to kill off Katie. It killed me to do so and I cried while doing it! But… she kind of had to… This will also begin the very strong friendship of Lily and Marlene, by the way. Please don't hate me and please review! **


	11. treasure him and his manliness

**AN: Thank you so much to those of you who have reviewed. I know I haven't said it, but it means a lot to me that you care enough to review. I sincerely hope you continue to review.. **

**Thank you so much to Smile Pass It On for reviewing for last chapter. **

**Now, for those of you who don't need me to spell out the obvious for you, please skip this little note and move on with your lives, for those of you who do (don't worry, I have my blonde moments… a lot…) please continue to read. I like constructive criticism. I honestly do. But when someone goes out of their way to insult someone, I think it's pointless. It shows low self-esteem and lack of respect. If you don't like something, that's fine. You are completely entitled to your own opinion but I personally believe that it wastes your time along with other's to share your opinion in a disrespectful manner. If you don't like something or someone, don't go out of your way to show it. It's dumb.**

**And on one more note, I'd like to say I'm very sorry for the slow update, I've just been insanely busy. I think we all know it's a busy time of year… I'm not quite sure where this story is going right now and how long it's going to last. I've originally intended this to go a lot father… but I've been told my dark chapters kind of suck… so… If you could leave a review and just… maybe leave a helpful suggestion…, it would be greatly appreciated. **

**Also, this story is told through memories collected by this person and written in a journal because he wants the finder of said journal to know the truth. I was originally going to title this truth but I already have a story with that title. Anyways, the last chapter will explain everything else in much greater detail. **

_Previously on __Life As You Knew It:_

_Lily's eyes went even wider, which she didn't know was even possible. She stared into his eyes, which were really rather stunning. She didn't speak; she was lost way too deep in his eyes. She didn't remember even thinking about it beforehand, all she knew is suddenly she closed the distance and kissed James Potter with all the anger, pain, and fright she had in her. _

_At first, James had no idea how to respond. He was looking for a spoken answer; but soon he found himself joining her in this emotional kiss. It was sweet and soft but… harsh and bitter at the same time. _

_Suddenly Lily pulled herself away and made a mad dash for her dorm. Marlene sighed. "I'll go get her." And she too disappeared up the stairs. _

LJLJ

Life sucks and then you die. Deal with it.

LJLJ

When times get tough, you get tougher. Yeah right. People look for the biggest bully in the playground to side with, the fucking cowards that they are.

But Katie Potter didn't do that. She stood up for what she believed in. And it cost her life. Some may say she proves a point. The biggest bully always wins, they say. But that's not true. You see the bully has his followers. The come and go in groups of threes and fours. But they pick on so many different people. And all those people have to do is ban together. They'll outnumber him and win.

Katie Potter only proved that this cause was worth fighting for. And forever cherished will her name remain. For Katie Potter was a hero. And her life was taken in place of yours or for someone you love.

LJLJ

Lily woke up and glanced at the clock. It was still early; early enough for the Great Hall to still be closed. But Lily didn't want to sleep. In fact, she didn't want to do much of anything.

She stared at her curtains that surrounded her bed for awhile. If she got lost in the patterns printed on them, she didn't have to think about Katie or James. Or the fact that she'd lost so much this year…

She was surprised when she discovered she was worried more about James then she was about herself. She was shocked because she had no idea where this rush of… the need to comfort and protect came from. She wanted nothing but to rush to James's side and make sure he was okay. Screw her feelings; she wanted to make sure he was okay.

But that wasn't what shocked her. It was the fact that she was no longer scared about these new found feelings. And yes, she did have feelings- strong feelings- for James Potter. And Merlin did that feel good to say. It was nice to be able to admit that to Marlene last night…

Merlin, last night… She'd acted like a complete and total bitch. She regretted it… but she was scared… and upset and confused. But that still gave her no right to treat James the way she did. The way she always did. He was right. She shouldn't be allowed to walk all over James the way she does.

"_Lily!" Marlene screamed through the door. "Open the damn door! Right. Now." _

_Marlene was never particularly quiet, but Lily never took her as a forceful person. Lily knew she had screw up royally by the tone of voice Marlene was using. It sounded like her mother did when Petunia and Lily would fight. Disappointed, annoyed, and frustrated at the fact that the two of them could never coexist. _

_Lily opened the door hesitantly, knowing that she would probably regret it. _

"_What happened?" Marlene asked, her voice drastically softer, after she saw the right state Lily was in. _

"_I d-didn't m-m-mean to k-kiss h-him… But he l-l-looked s-so s-s-s-sad." Lily stumbled on her words before she found her voice, barely a whisper. "I hated to see all that pain and hope in his eye. He looked like he depended on my answer; my answer was the only hope he had… I couldn't… wouldn't let him down. But I don't know how I feel, Marley. I get so confused and I forget what I'm trying to say when he's around. And he was mad, just because I hugged Sirius. He makes me so mad! He's the only person I've ever known that can make me so positively angry. When my sister and I fight, I say things in the spur of the moment, sure. But I'm never really mad; I'm just trying to prove a point. But with James… I can scream for hours on end. I'm mad but yet, not. I can't explain it. I'll get in his face but only to-to be closer to him, to fill the empty space. He acts so arrogant and pigheaded and then he goes and acts all sweet and holds me when I cry. He comes with me to my parents' funeral even though a week before I loudly proclaimed my hatred for him. He pretends to be my boyfriend to appease my mother. I can't even explain my relationship with James because its way to complex. I just want a normal, uncomplicated, drama free school year but I'm stuck with James Potter… and I wouldn't like it any other way. Does that make any fucking sense?" _

"_I reckon that made loads of sense. First off you wanted to kiss him because otherwise you wouldn't have. You may not have meant to, but you enjoyed it. Admit it. You. Love. James. Lily. I don't know how else to say this. He's arrogant and a prick sometimes but it doesn't matter. He's got faults and he acts like a complete git in front of you, to try and impress you and catch your attention. Get used to it, honey, because you are nothing without James Potter. And he's nothing without you. You're stuck with him." _

_Lily just stared at her open-mouthed. "You're right…"_

But this morning it made loads of sense. And she felt the desperate need to run to James. She wanted to wait until later, but she knew James wouldn't be asleep. He just went to his sister's fucking funeral. He may not be too happy to see her, but he'd be awake, nonetheless. And maybe she'd have a chance to plead with him, if he'd have.

Lily almost laughed at the irony to that thought. If James Potter would still have Lily Evans. What the hell had happened to them all? Lily was almost positive that hell hadn't frozen over; it was much too hot for that to have happened. She hadn't dated the giant squid, but she was considering- hell she was begging- to date James Potter. What the fuck had happened?

She hated herself for thinking of her relationship with James at this moment. She should be thinking of Katie. But Katie made her think of James (they were twins, after all) and she was worried about how James was holding up… because Lily had been up all night crying and she knew James couldn't be doing much better.

She had to see him.

So she got her lay arse out of bed and walked up the staircase to the boys dorms (thank Merlin, girls are more trustworthy then boys). She knocked on the door. Sirius answered.

"Yes?" he asked wearily. He stepped into the hall, blocking Lily's view or James, and vice versa.

"I want- I need to talk to James." Lily said with a hard, determined glint in her eye.

"What for, flower." Sirius used his obnoxious nickname for Lily to show he was upset with her, but he still loved her.

"I was a right prick to him last night. I need to apologize. And beg for him."

"Beg for him…?"

"That's right."

"Beg for what, exactly?"

"Him, of course."

"Him? As in his friendship."

"No. As for him, him. Not as a friend. Not as a brother. I love him, Sirius."

"You love him?"

"That's what I said."

"Just so we are clear, him being James Potter, correct?"

"Yes…"

"You love James Potter?"

"We've been through this, Sirius."

"Humor me."

"Yes, I do."

"In a romantic way?"

"Sirius!"

"Answer the question, Lily!"

"Yes."

"As in I-want-to-snog-him-senseless-in-a-broom-closet kind of love."

"Yes."

"I do kind of love?"

"Sirius!"

"Okay, okay. But just to be clear, you love James with all your heart, right? You promise not to hurt him and to treasure him and his manliness?"

"Yes, Sirius. I really, truly love him."

"Well I'll be damned." Sirius said with a wink. "Step right in, fair maiden."

"You're such a drama queen, Sirius." Lily teased, with a half-hearted smile. She gave Sirius a hug, and whispered something comforting, knowing that they both needed a friend.

"I resent that." Sirius teased back. This playful banter was better than moping or crying his eyes out. "I must warn you, he's not in a good state. Though I reckon you'll cheer up his mood." His voice was dark and teasing… and worried. It was a weird contrast.

James was sitting on his bed. He wasn't wearing his glasses, but he knew Lily had entered the room. He could see blurs of red (obvious, really) and he could smell her (creepy sounding… but true).

He reached for his glasses. He didn't look too good. In fact, he looked awful. His hair was a mess (bad even for him), his eyes had bags under them and were bloodshot, his cloths were mix-matched and dirty (he hadn't bothered to put on pajamas, and he had a defeated look his eyes. But Lily still loved him. Merlin did she ever.

"Lily, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. It was uncalled-" This rant would have continued for ages but Lily cut him off.

"Shut up, James." James looked hurt but he also was expecting this blow.

"I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but-" Lily sighed loudly. James stopped his rant.

"Stop blaming yourself. It was my fault. Mine! I've been so stupid. Honestly." Lily sat next to James on the bed and looked into his wide and shocked eyes. "Please, stop trying to pacify me. It's my turn to pacify you. I'll ask you out nonstop for six years if that's what it takes. Because I finally understand what you mean. I love you James."

James stared at Lily for a moment before asking tentatively, "Can I kiss you?"

"No, James." Confusion registered on his face. "I'll kiss you."

And with that, Lily attacked James's lips.

**AN: Eventful, I hope. Review! **

_Next on Life As You Knew It:_

"_Did you hear about James Potter and Lily Evans?" the Hufflepuff girl giggled to her friend. _

"_Five galloons says that Lily's only dating him on a dare." _

"_Not even worth losing my money." _

_James had heard. He stormed away, hurt and confused. _


	12. Billy Waters?

AN: Its been awhile, but its finally here. This will be the second to last chapter! Yay! Next chapter who discover who mystery man is…

Previously on _Life as You Knew it _

"_Shut up, James." James looked hurt but he also was expecting this blow._

_"I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but-" Lily sighed loudly. James stopped his rant._

_"Stop blaming yourself. It was my fault. Mine! I've been so stupid. Honestly." Lily sat next to James on the bed and looked into his wide and shocked eyes. "Please, stop trying to pacify me. It's my turn to pacify you. I'll ask you out nonstop for six years if that's what it takes. Because I finally understand what you mean. I love you James."_

_James stared at Lily for a moment before asking tentatively, "Can I kiss you?"_

_"No, James." Confusion registered on his face. "I'll kiss you."_

_And with that, Lily attacked James's lips._

_LJLJ_

Darker times lead to desperate measures. Fates were sealed within a moment. Looking forward, we all know, everyone dies in the end.

It's a shame really, for lives to be taken so quickly, so unreasonably, so unnaturally. Although, I'm being hypercritical. For I have taken many-a-lives.

LJLJ

More advice, if you wish. Follow your heart. You have no idea how much longer you have.

LJLJ

"Did you hear about James Potter and Lily Evans?" the Hufflepuff girl giggled to her friend.

"Five galloons says that Lily's only dating him on a dare."

"Not even worth losing my money."

James had heard. He stormed away, hurt and confused.

LJLJ

"I just… I don't see why people are so interested. It's not their relationship, last time I checked. It's mine. And Lily's. I'm not dating Lily and the Hogwarts population! Honestly, I even heard Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore talking about it! That's really pathetic." James ranted to Mary, who was currently the only person near him that he trusted enough to confide in.

"Maybe it's easier for them to gossip about the two of you then to focus on the loss of such an amazing student. I mean, I think I'd rather discuss if you were a better kisser then say… Billy Waters then talk about how much we all miss Katie. You and Lils have become a buffer or icebreaker if you will. Plus, half the kids are betting on whether you slipped her a love potion. It's come as a bit of a shock for anyone who haven't been closely observing you for the past month."

It made sense. Really it did. James just didn't like it. He rather everyone be thinking of his sister and how amazing she was then to focus on a relationship that didn't concern them. It pissed him off that they were more concerned with their dumb bets then they were with the death of his sister. He made him mutter under his breath.

"Billy Waters? Why the hell am I getting compared to Billy Waters?" James said, half joking, half serious.

"Well… He was Lily's boyfriend last year…" Mary said, clearly uncomfortable.

"She had a boyfriend last year? Why didn't she tell me?" James demanded.

"Because she hated you…"

"Oh, right."

LJLJ

"Billy Waters? Really, Lils?" James whispered into her ear.

"What?" Completely taken off guard.

"Mary let it slip that you dated Billy Waters last year."

"Oh… er… Well, you see… Yeah." Lily fumbled as James watched her amusedly.

"It's okay, I was just wondering how you managed to do that without Sirius, Remus, Peter, or I finding out." James said, looking bemused and slightly proud of Lily (he liked that she could be sneaky, it proved that she was worthy of the marauders).

"Yes, anyways, how are you this morning?" Lily said, abruptly changing the subject.

"One of them knew! Who?"

"Well… Sirius… But Katie made him promise not to tell you. She did it to make sure that you didn't find out. She didn't want you to get hurt and… well, it's like anything between Billy and I were serious… it was just stupid, really. I knew that going into the 'relationship', if you can even call it that."

"Oh." James said, making a mental note to ask Sirius about that later. "So tell me, who's the better kisser: me or Billy?"

Lily stared at James for a moment. "What were you and Mary talking about?"

"That's for me to know and you to ponder for the rest of your life." James laughed evilly. "You didn't answer my question. It's rather serious. Who's the better kisser? Me or him?"

"You." She said lightly, capturing his lips.

LJLJ


End file.
